Day: August 19, 2008

PodCastle – Hallah Iron-Thighs And The Change Of Life by K. D. Wentworth

Jesse Willis

SFFaudio Online Audio

Podcastle PodCastle, the fantasy fiction podcast, has a new old/story out that has drawn my eyes, and ears… it’s a story first published in the highly arousing popular “Chicks N Chainmail” anthology series.

I have to disagree with Podcastle editor Rachel Swirsky though. I still think chain-mail bikinis offer more protection than she suggests. My theory is that they offer support in the places where both gravity and barbarians often attack first. Making them a kind of ‘law of diminishing returns’ kind of armour. On the other hand, I hear that the chainmail can be a bit abrasive, which clearly makes them unrealistic (and hence a perfect fit for Fantasy). Bikinis in Science Fiction though, tend to be more along the lines of the moulded and polished metal alloy type, rather than of the linked chain variety. Thus the SF bikini offers solid protection from both gropey aliens and laser beams – while still adhering to the ‘diminishing returns’ idea. So all in all, I’m for armoured bikinis in both genres.

Hallah Iron-Thighs and the Change of Life by K. D. WentworthHallah Iron-Thighs And The Change Of Life
By K.D. Wentworth; Read by M.K. Hobson
1 |MP3| – Approx. 34 Minutes [UNABRIDGED]
Hallah and Gerta are guarding a hymnal-seller. But why is Hallah’s armour getting so tight?

You can subscribe to the feed at:

http://feeds.escapeartists.net/PodCastle_Main

Posted by Jesse Willis

Beware the Moon Wraith: The Orb of Phoebe

Jesse Willis

SFFaudio Online Audio

Beware the Moon Wraith: The Orb of PhoebeAn outfit called “Curious Echo Radio Theater” has begun the podcasting of Beware the Moon Wraith: The Orb of Phoebe. Here’s the skinny on it:

The Moon Wraith, a vengeful ghost for justice, has stolen the mysterious Orb of Phoebe. But Virgil Caine, the real identity of the Moon Wraith, has no memory of committing this crime. So Caine, with wealthy socialite Sandra Ashton and plucky newsboy Crabby Jones, struggle to clear the Moon Wraith’s name, find the Orb of Phoebe, and deal with the naked woman in Caine’s bedroom.

Hmmm…. personally, I’d deal with the last part first, it’s liable to be the most sticky.

Check it out via their podcast feed:

http://www.curiousecho.org/wordpress/?feed=podcast

Posted by Jesse Willis

Review of Toy Trouble by Engle and Barnes

Scott D.

SFFaudio Review

TITLEToy Trouble
By Engle & Barnes; Performed by a full cast
2 CDs – ~2 hours – [AUDIO DRAMA]
Publisher: Brilliance Audio
Published: 1996
ISBN: 1423308387
Themes: / Horror / Fantasy / Possession / Toys / Young Adult

Some stories inspire great things. This story, being the second “Strange Matter” release I have listened to, has inspired me to write a computer program to generate any future reviews of the series. The reviewer just plugs in the story title, the main character, and the horror de jeur, and voila, out pops a review that starts like this: “Karen Sanders is a likeable little protagonist as the story opens. But even the first scene, in which she ‘loses’ one of her new toys in a tragic head-swapping surgery gone wrong, drags on past enjoyment…” and ends like this: “And so we come to a fiery, bloody conclusion that has left all sense and interesting character development so far behind, we can hardly remember what such noble pursuits feel like…” In between lie paragraphs of brilliant prose riddled with verbal howitzer shells like “pejorative” and “bamboozlement” to make you forget you’re reading something a computer typed.

It’s not that Toy Trouble is any worse than Plant People, it’s that the two are bad in the same ways. The general flow of action, the characters, and the gradual deterioration of the promising story into silly drivel are so frighteningly similar that the pair seem generated from the same generic outline.

I will say that the cast and audio effects people make a valiant attempt to bring Toy Trouble to life, but, like Karen Sanders’ doll, this story never had a chance. After the initial attempt to make our diminutive heroine seem something like an actual girl, the authors are happy to simply toss her around, smacking her against an evil spirit (a ghast, if you care) that possesses toys, her weirdo brother and her woefully underdeveloped friends in a series of increasingly improbable and illogical perils. No amount of voice acting or Foley wizardry can vivify that.

So save your time and money for something worthier of your attention. Like, say, a nice, short Computer-Generated Review®.

Posted by Kurt Dietz