The SFFaudio Podcast #890 – AUDIOBOOK/READALONG: Rogues In The House by Robert E. Howard

The SFFaudio Podcast #890 – Rogues In The House by Robert E. Howard (53 minutes) read by Alex (Pulpcovers), followed by a discussion of it. Participants in the discussion are Jesse and Alex (Pulpcovers)

Talked about on today’s show:
with a little bit of relish, how little dialogue Conan gets, interesting about it, the first 2 chapters, a little exchange about chapter length, what chapters are for, Agatha Christie novels, chapter titles, help tell the story, earliest being read to experience, An Unexpected Part, Tolkien was a master of chapter titles, “spoiler” vs. anticipation, little fake rhyme, One Fled One Dead One Sleeping In A Golden Bed, the fled is Conan, the red priest, the sleeping in a golden bed, what about poor Thak?, dead, bled out, maybe this is too soon, reflecting on what the story is really about?, set in a city state, we never get the name, nationalists and patriots, funnily, some response about the Reacher series, Conan with a pension and patriotism, 3 main dudes, accessory figures including the girl, clearly so much backstory to this, the Dark Horse comic, all issues, so many issues, the Gunderman, long betrayal, she gets a name, why she’s mad at Conan, all implied, you don’t really need it, ends up in prison, kills her new boyfriend, naked in a cesspit, a mirror, why is she doing that?, working for this fence, the main badguy is a priest to the king, knows everybody’s secrets, his house is full of tech, the last Conan we did, The Tower Of The Elephant, a guarded house, a dog, lions, black lotus, gray lotus, loved his lotuses, a servant master relationship, alien from space, space elephant, acolyte betrayed him, stapled him to a couch, a monkey turned on his master, he knows how to do it, he’s basically a man!, he’s learned his lessons so well, roles are reversed, slightly reversed and twisted, housebreaker, steal the jewel, explicitly hired to kill the guy, I would like to loot the house, too much patriotism and nationalism, the “maze”, full of shit, literal shit, unnamed into the story, some satisfaction out of that, she’s a hooker, a woman of loose morals, sleep her way to whatever she needs, a hard world, kills the most recent guy, he’s mad, threatens her with the knife, Thak does the same thing, Nabonidus, Murillo, stab him, eat em, let em go, a blood rage about his life, monkey man doesn’t talk much, kinda like a maze, now watching through mirrors, hidden cameras, double mirrors, the acid vats, explain your disappearence, this is just like an Epstein story, the acid he ordered in the emails, a puppeteer, a cutout, many theories, cutouts in use, social media people, influencers, bounties, this number of likes and views, streamers and whatever, certain messages, hashtags, the only purpose for hashtags is to punctuate jokes, #BrassBra, get things trending, read good stories, #KetchupAndMustardGetup, wearing both red and yellow, a person your using as a tool, pawns are not important, you can sacrifice your queen, trap the other person, cutouts are pawns, to protect you, explicitly discussed in the story, took Thak from his people when he was a cub, they’re gonna be men in 100,000 years, we’re Thak, Thak is a man, a worthy opponent, typing skills, very interesting, as a shadow of Nabonidus, why people buy dogs, mostly for protection and alarm system, hard to train, expensive, a little thing you keep in your purse, why he’s rebelling, so to with Murillo, a nobleman, chopped off his ear, do what I say or knuckle under, he’s evil because he’s enforcing his will on other people, how’s this different, stealing honestly, he’s assassinating honourably, a debate with himself, he uncuffed me, the honourable thing to do, the moral framing for the story, keep control of the city, famously unnamed, Jenna comes from Roy Thomas, the Marvel version, on page 7, Arnold Schwarzenneger holding up a lady, I put two inches on my muscles, Conan The Destroyer sort of has the Thak scene, The Mirrors Of Tuzun Thune, one of the better post-Conan sword sorcery movies, Krull, good things in it, some of the action is quite good, the tone is wrong, a guy on twitter doesn’t like the first Conan movie, a distillation of the ideology of many of the stories, a scene from Rogues And The House, enjoying the riches after stealing from the tower, the guards come in and arrest him, I need you to kill a man, or get my daughter back, we’re free, he has this abiding ulterior motive, revenge, childhood trauma, after his resurrection, bodily dead, in other Conan stories, The Phoenix On The Sword, we’re patriots we love our country, usurped the proper throne from the proper heir, 19th century French, Ataturk, so sketched, Mirror For Princes, the mirror is for the reader, always, Red Nails, crossing the jungle, I like you girl, I’m busy, suddenly dragon, will say things that make them seem naive, Delcardes’ Cat, a talking cat, I’m not Murillo, I’m Conan, over his shoulder in his thoughts, he doesn’t say much, not be distanced from his POV, make judgements, why do people like the Conan stories?, he just says I’ve had enough of this city, you mentioned a horse, curious to see, before I walked the road Nabonidus walked this night, aware of death, the different between a childlike love of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, the point of a story like this, shit happens, why is Thak dead and Conan alive?, he survived the thing that should be unsurvivable, caught up with the nationalist shit and this patriotic shit, a personal propaganda, hmm, yes, I agree, the story works as a whole, literally the sewer of the house, there’s a mirror there, we’re invited to think of Thak, trynna trick people, or take the mantle, become the master of the house, a rebellion against being a cutout, a servant pet, not a tame tiger, fuck you I’m a man, they don’t have fire, the most interesting character in the story, picked up and used as a quasi servant, slave/pet, an experiment, can I teach this thing to do my bidding, the word shadow, one of his favourite words, he learned what I taught him, at once body guard and servant, being partly a man, semibrain, bestial ambition, I see myself in Thak, one of the only characters?, it’s a real fight, this guy could kill Conan, he’s got gorilla strength, all the humans he fights, he brains a guy, knocked his skull open, not even a speed bump, portrayed as a rogue, a corrupt nobleman, invited to see him as honest, Robert E. Howard inviting us to admire Conan, big muscles, also canny, knocked himself out on the way because he was drunk, took him to jail, police, terrible writing and drawing, ship with gunports, am I stupid?, a reference photo, hidden off the coast, the sails are up, sloppiness, Robert E. Howard liked it, praise from Clark Ashton Smith and H.P. Lovecraft, only did two drafts, no notes, makin money, told a good story, it is fun, the mode that people don’t seem to understand, Robert E. Howard has grievances, a personal animus against city hall, or religion, how anti-religious is this story?, in contradistinction to Reacher season 3, a former cop, military cop, wanders from town to town, on the side of good, an old grievance against some guy, running a new thing, basically killing people randomly, in there working in the shadows of law enforcement willy-nilly, just murders people, it fits with the Conan mentality, Conan is not a part of the state, in the war of all against Conan will do fine, a fantasy in the way that Howard isn’t, Howard is more cynically realistic, what anchors his morality, his own sense of honour, barbarism vs. civilization, corrupt thieves, makes his way through it, rights the ship, a very interesting mirror, a monkey who thinks he’s a man, wants to be greater than he is?, we are the monkey men, Conan is comparable to Thak, superstrong, wasn’t quite tweaked up a enough, long story short, to prep for Congo by Michael Crichton, good story and very well read, the one where he takes over a pirate ship, Pool Of The Black Ones, is there pillars in that one?, Iron Shadows In The Moonlight, Queen Of The Black Coast, they’re not designed to be distinct, in this issue, new Conan story, buy the issue, all stories new, reprinted a few Lovecrafts, recording this, the ear party, rich nobleman, rich nobleman, British accent, he’s going to sound American, a John Wayne voice, what Robert E. Howard’s voice, Clark Ashton Smith’s voice, hick Californian?, top stories, the themes are really good, Conan is more invested in that story, puts on the costume, that was a weird Tuesday, he fell under her spell, this is my favourite novel, other mirrors that reflect you better, what am I missing?, this book The Lost Continent, a tentative plan to do a double, The Adventure Of The Cardboard Box, famous titles, human ear!, authors tired of their characters, The Seven Dials Mystery, Jeeves and Wooster, annoyed at writing Poirot stories, hated Sherlock Holmes, read my White Company, by Grabthar’s Hammer!, her first novel, a hot topic at the time, Belgian refugees, poor Belgium, Russians bad, poor Ukraine, why they took the the out of the Ukraine, Ukraine means borderlands, the steppe before you get to the Russian steppe, right in the Conan stories, the Border Kingdoms, we’re being manipulated at all points at all times, he’s so cynical, loves his mom, somethin going on there, maybe he’s a little mad with the hooker he hooked up with, it becomes literary fiction, this is fun, we as English speakers should be free to translate things into English, Mumbai, Bombay, Peking, Beijing, Constantinople, Istanbul, youre being manipulated, Rome, Roma, Munich, Munchen, English names, countries outside of Europe, Germany vs. Deutchland, very top down, a bottom up guy, listen to what the people on the street are saying, fuck the queen, fuck the king, you can’t tell me what to do I’m going to follow my own code, if you acceede, the word empathy is used all the time, what the fuck is an empath?, fuck your feelings, feelings are not important, principles are important, being just is important, sorry kid you can’t have potato?, you can’t have another ice cream, this is a book you don’t break the spine, crack the spine, horrifying, what are you doing, you don’t deserve books, from a scarcity point of view, this is a thing you should respect, pages start falling, tear it limb from limb, that issue of Rogue, you get used to it, it does feel wrong, cut this child apart, maybe this is wrong, to help other children, it was duplicated a million times, they’re relatively rare, a fun mag, the scanning group, yelled at, a moderator, the majority of the things being scanned are from people’s collections, Alexander Tuesday, he must have had a huge collection, Science Fiction Age, Starlog, Realms Of Fantasy, 1977, the Star Wars issue, from Trish [E. Matson], a kid who doesn’t understand this has value to humanity, take it all the way to the dump, literal treasure that needs to be shared, so lucky now, forces, the yahoo group was destroyed, treasured in place, you learn so much, how that thing looked in place, people change things, they don’t negro or nigger, when Agatha Christie, Ten Little Niggers, Ten Little Indians, the gauls, etext being so manipulable, out of a newspaper, a turn of phrase, and abbreviation, in that Poe story, D___, the name of the hotel or whatever, audio is one step removed from the text, a good story from Manhunt, On The Sidewalk Bleeding by Ed McBain, the girl show up, acting differently, they’d swapped the names, write a paper about what’s going on in the story, went to the Manhunt issue, it wasn’t a later revision the author had done, somebody had fucked it up, scanning is the ultimate way of preserving, the bottom of one leaf was cut-off, cloning text letter by letter, a Lawrence Block book, maybe an original paper copy, etext, take a scan that already exists, wraps on different screens, legit typos, 50s sci-fi paperbacks, this is clearly a typo, a weird alternate spelling?, really obvious typos, half-asses way of doing it, original book version, transcribing it anyway, corrections in square brackets, put up both, PDFs print, format for printing, not the ideal, the plain old etext that gutenberg.org does, replicate the font, lose the illustrations, gutenberg Australia, different methods, keep doing your best, audiobook, preferred format, when people are not faithful to the text, the poor blind people who don’t get to experience how racist things were, that Amy Tan story, Shirley Temple, a star from the 30s, “sauciness”, popu-music stars, age 12 boobs, what do you think about breast implants, Shirley Temple is not a sex symbol, Little Orphan Annie, musicals, delighted by this little singing girl, nightmare life, get some trauma out of that, a monkey with a cape and a hoddie, taken from his parents, his culture!, I’d be ragin too, some Cimmerian kills him, annoyed by this story, too much intrigue, a good clean monkey to fight, a girl who won’t betray me the instant I leave the room, it’s a book, wife got really mad, slip her some mp3 files, uncensored from the 30s, Kings In The Night, etexts of The Sex War and World Without Men, pathogenic books, purple lips, fun ideas, the year 7000, discover a frozen man, flashback to the 50s, a new kind of birth control, the weirdly manipulative woman, sexually assaults him, the 2020s, a reporter in London, a Children Of Men sort of thing, enforced breeding, the government comes after him, the Concorde, many such cases, and his name will be Adam, protect this weird little boy, instincts, no real resolution, ai controlled, all the women are lesbians because they’re brainwashed, Mr. Adam by Pat Frank, a sex-comedy, very prudish, atmospheric nuclear test, 9 months later, what happened?, no fertile men anymore, saved by lead poisoning, this guy is still fertile, all the women have to have sex with this man, a program to best use his sperm, he’s not actually being used, jockeying for who’s going to be in charge, a joke about the arms race, nuclear weapons, we’ve got a sperm gap, you’re going to have access to Mr. Adam, the Chinese have one too, how stupid the government, pre-the Cold War, but not much, no on-screen sex at all, using a man as a tool, we’re going to sterilize Mr. Adam, I’d like to spend some time with my wife, the cover from Britain, a certain kind of book, theoretically they find him sexy, fun book.

Rogues In The House

Posted by Jesse Willis

The SFFaudio Podcast #888 – READALONG: Bank Shot by Donald E. Westlake

Jesse, Scott Danielson, Maissa Bessada, and Misha Burnett talk about Bank Shot by Donald E. Westlake

Talked about on today’s show:
everybody knows their places, the 2nd Dortmuner novel, Bank Shot, the movie adaptation, DNFed that thing, it existed on dvd, just to confirm, be completist, artificial eyebrows, a record for biggest eyebrows, stunt eyebrows, very cartoonish, the broad characterization, pretty close, the money is on fire, the vocab word that best applies to Dortmunder is hapless, luckless, hap means luck, what happend, Maissa?, I’m feeling really happy, luck’s been with with me today, happenstance, how did it fall out?, what went wrong?, character and cartoonish, Herman X, we’re looking at his menu, a negroni, black beans, everything added to the menu is black, how black is he? even his drink is black, just so funny, movies out of Westlake stories, I’m a movie maker, make a great book into a good movie, it almost never works, what killed the movie?, they didn’t follow the book, starts with him in prison, something ridiculous, Upjohn Ballantine, a Dukes of Hazard kind of a way, where you buy the name of the book, they did pass a bank that was in a trailer, the temporary bank was in a trailer, the acting was horrible, melodramatic, one of the actors was Boss Hogg, the fake lawyer that came in to visit, Karp, he’s in one of the James Bond movies, that boy’s out there doing it again, it’s like a movie, this would make a terrific movie, why deviate, this is dead on, the scriptwriter complains about the movie, the film failed due to the direction, never truely done justice to Westlake, slightly tilted, a charming idea, stealing the whole building, into a farce, a marvellous stage director, simply wasn’t deft, ruined what I thought was a good piece, bitterly disappointed, it doesn’t translate, it’s so careful, it seems to flow super easy, everything is funny and fun, and endless mistake, you can’t quite do it, it is the way it is told, a lot more cops, great stuff, up on a hill, mobile headquarters, too much coffee and danishes, want some?, aiming to do what is done in the book, it doesn’t translate to film that well, Brer Rabbit, the Uncle Remus stories, these are cartoons, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, talking animals betraying each other, a pixar style movie, it works best as a book, Shakespeare is not a novel, when you see Shakespeare performed, you can’t mess with it too much, performed on stage is where it is, location shooting, Westlake lives in the text, he doesn’t live in the plot, his character direction that’s the fun part, betting on cards, two sixes, the whole thing’s moving, too long as a movie, the movie adaptation of A Travesty, A Slight Case Of Murder (1999), a cat just knocked over a bunch of things, James Cromwell, accidentally murders his girlfriend, blackmails him, told first person, breaks the fourth wall, points his funny face towards the camera, a comic murderer, pack in all the plot, knock over a bank, why the book is good, how deftly he handles it, The Blonde Lieutenant, the reason Dortmunder is called Dortmunder, worked as a “snow top”, white helmeted Air Force police, he’s filling in the little details there, a blog, the car crash, smutty books in the back, those were all Donald Westlake, the etext, dig around, the complete dot txt, you jammed on your, Kelp, the Pinto, a row of stores on the right, an alley between the two of them, the storage area, full of paperback books, one was called Passion Doll, Man Hungry, Strange Affair, Off Limits, Call Me Sinner, Apprentice Virgin, his topcoat flapped, you were talking about the cops, why don’t you bums get off the road, what you’re gonna get is cops, every character in this book is him or somebody he knows, he’s Dortmunder but also the cousin, making radio dramas, all the pulp magazines, he wasn’t a regular cop, aspects of his own life, scold you, insurance is in this book, multiple times, an insurance scene, two many knees in the way, observational humour, Merch’s mom, the getaway driver, he’s a car thief, his mom is the cab driver, the pinto, an AMC Javelin, making noises as if it had just eaten a Pinto, making fun of everything, he doesn’t stop, a spinoff of his hardboiled series [the Parker series], come in on the seconds, the seconds are better, a heist, something goes wrong, a revenge book, writing The Hot Rock, getting too silly, leaned into that, being hapless, on the Donald E. Westlake, what’s the one that’s on the SFFaudio website, “I believe my subject is bewilderment”, insurance is a hedge about the bad things happening, that’s this whole book, what can go wrong now?, just pushing what could go wrong, teetering on the edge, very improv, and and and, Castle In The Air, many turrets, a megastructure, what a novel is, what’s going to happen next?, where’s Westlake getting all this, out of his life and his observations, they use the book as the template, what they’re lack is the Westlake, lacking the central core material is him, painting in the characters, vignettes as well, build the scene up and have the rug pulled out, the number of Parker movies, Dortmunder movies, they’re all bad, getting it right never works, they can’t do what the book is doing, a Terminator or an andorid, programmed to do stuff, need sleep or something like that, producing the results, doesn’t do anything that’s inefficient, it’s not science fiction, Data goes back in time on some planet, a character who has no personality, in a film you wouldn’t, Mel Gibson, Robert Duvall, Lee Marvin, Jason Stathem, none of these are hits, they take the template and it doesn’t fit, a book writer, The Stepfather, different and dark in tone, a screenplay for The Grifters, Jim Thompson, hits you like a bag of oranges, really bad and good, a writer’s writer, it is astounding, they flow so easy, the characters are great, the dialogue is fantastic, Michael Kramer is so good, just playing, playing out beautifully, when a paperbook goes out of print, a new version, a new cover, new formatting of the pages, it will have a new font, garamond, my favourite, the Frank Muller collection, I’ll read any Frank Muller book, George Guidall, Bronson Pinchot, too performy, what else has he narrated, to become a chameleon, from Eastern Europe accent, as an actor would, George Guidall narrated Dune is the best version, saved this from cassette, almost none are available, the entire Parker run, the Dortmunder run, he was excellent, the epic fantasy nowadays, super popular for that, The Wheel Of Time series, Brandon Sanderson stuff, a little Wikipedia entry, starting in the 1990s, other ones we could do, a Stark, The Man With The Getaway Face, they’re all drop in, The Axe, fantastic book, No Other Choice (2025), the Koreans would do a good job, you will want to, the premise, laid off, fun fun name, drastic cost cutting measures, the 7 men who could take the job, it’s brilliant, William H. Macy, told from the point of view of this person doing horrible things, brings it tight, ensemble pieces, Robert Redford and 6 other actors, a heist, bring it in tight to the one guy, a French version, a Michael Caine version (not an official version), really new, not hit the services yet, Ebert’s site gave it 4 out of 4, Oldboy (2003), are we bringing in Misha Burnett?, a little awkward, working so many hours, traveling for work, sometimes on a Sunday, Bank Shot as a sequel and the foundation of a series, the franchise starts with the 2nd, an excellent example for people, expanding one book into a series, what to keep, what to show, the comic caper genre, prior to Westlake, he basically invented that, the background of The Hot Rock, too goofy for Parker, needed a character, Dortmunder’s confederates, builds such an incredible cast of secondary characters, in every single book, and May, Victor, extraordinary, the person who got me hooked on Westlake, a homosexual encounter, deciding whether he’s going to have sex with a man or a woman tonight, from the outside it looks just like an ordinary garage, foolin around together, he’s a fanboy of radio drama, he’s not looking for sex, dissatisfaction with eh FBI, never even held a submachine gun, he’s very self-aware, secret lair, comin out the the pulp era, drawing from it, did a lot of science fiction as well, the caper itself follow the outline or precedent set in The Hot Rock in being over the top, you know… I bet, Drowned Hopes, the undertow’s got it, a valley that’s gonna be flooded, rob the bank that’s under the water, one of Westlake’s truly chilling villains, in prison for 20 years, they dammed the lake and drowned the village, blow up the dam, kill a whole bunch of people, something Stark would consider, scuba gear, what could go wrong?!, his secondary characters, the cops, that scene, the safe company, the trailer company and the bank, just like on the edge, how far to push a caricature and keep it believable, on the borderlands of a cartoon, something went wrong in the process, we got all these great actors, Robert Redford is not Dortmunder, George C. Scott would have made a great Parker, Gary Oldman [Gary Coleman], Dortmunder is us, we seeing him on screen, muppets might work, that hyper-realized, just Michael Caine is the bank manager, way on down the series, taking out the casino in Vegas, a lock man, you have to be able to introduce characters, ancillary character, Nobody’s Perfect, Good Intentions, scamming encyclopedia, the phone went tick tick tick, two small ticks, arguing with Kelp, I wonder who they’re after, rear ending the car with the books in the trunk, pseudonymous sex books, Adios Scheherazade, a left handed guide to how to write or how not to write, be a real writer, wants to be a real boy, friend with a spy series, his ideas end up petering out and going nowhere, really sad, how sad it is, The Hook, it’s about Amazon, well before Amazon, hot writer, best seller, once you’re in the system you can never grow past a certain point, I’m gonna put my name on your book, a murder sort of story, he’s better at standalones than he is at series, even when he has a noble failure, Humans, we have more possibilities, thank you for your time, something Simaky, Ring Around The Sun, in about a month, building a carwash, good listening time, 10 – 12 hour days, painting a room, commuting is a big deals, if you’ve got a good book, your arms and your neck and your back, I’ll go in tomorrow I got six more chapters, almost like a drug, makes the time go by so fast, miss my exit, where the series really come in handy, even with Westlake, they’re premium, his Grofield books, not more Parker, they’re adventure, 3 Grofield books, The Dame, The Blackbird, Lemons Never Lie, a job that’s gone sour, Slayground, Parker went into the amusement park, a split, two different experiences, insurance, seeing it all the time, the bank being insured, a real funny subtle one, and you’ll have access, our researchers in Omaha, Nebraska, Anguilla?, a non-fiction account of a coup there, Under An English Heaven, the photograph of him on Wikipedia, the thesaurus, in the news happening, Chernobyl, what would God make of all of this, a bet against the future, Scott Adams, Pascal’s Wager, convert to Catholicism on my deathbed, Somebody Owes Me Money, sitting at the table, some way he can make it pay for him, there’s gotta be a way, this game, getting some food at Walmart, a ricecooker, do you want insurance on that, a $20 item, we don’t get that extra profit, gameifying, take maximum money from suckers, The Handle, a casino off of Cuba, saving up money for his summerstock, since been confirmed, the criminals don’t think of themselves as criminals, a sideline, their real business is something else, Victor is not representative of a stock character, representative of that kind of thinking, he collects cars or something, whatcha doin, the tape’s still going, of the heist while it is happening, the plots, the premise, it’s all about the character touches, had been an MP, a regular day job, health and house decisions, spending am lot of time thinking, using every part of the animal, that kind of treatment, just let me go get my purse, playing Dortmunder, this is a scam, she’s tipped to it relatively early on, only $10, keep talking, meeting again, a slot, put a Parker in there, The Handle, Don’t Ask, Stark stuff, the comedy, formulaic, when you know it is a continuing character, his standalones, The Fugitive Pigeon, the nephew novels, Trust Me On This, the National Inquirer, Baby Would I Lie, Branson, all built up, it’s a Tom Selleck style actor, used to be on a tv show, mystery detective, lives in Los Angles, Samuel Holt, the pseudonym and the character, Paul Kavanaugh by Lawrence Block, One Of Us Is Wrong, didn’t finish it, would have paid more attention, him under a pseudonym, do what he’s doing in The Hook, Stephen King with Bachman, I get these numbers in the mail, his script writing career, been to Florida a few times, Kenya, Kahawa, coffee smugglers, mercenaries, dangerous people, Westlake fans were horrified, very well written, a feel for the utter insanity that was Uganda under Idi Amin, Two Much, other than the premise, seems like it is a light comedy, one pair of the twins out, twins was the whole point, a French adaptation, they don’t play it up, he’s a fuckin horrible murderer, did a show on it not too long ago, give away the ending, like a huge kick in the balls, the last line, sent a joke, I don’t get it, he’s lost his sense of humour, in order to gain all of the money, didn’t really hit me until later, he’s very mature, it’s not manipulation because you don’t feel it, it all gelled, it all worked, never gonna have a sequel to that, The Hunter, Point Blank, the first Parker book is bad, the least best Westlake books, even his noble failures are good, Ed Topless, disses it, a good movie, not a Westlake movie, not a Stark movie, the heist in Jimmy The Kid, Child Heist, it’s a ransom, it doesn’t fit the formula, Parker as a kidnapper, you want to steal something that can move and talk?, the efficiency, when Parker is doing something, going against my better judgement, nobody gets whacked in Dortmunder, bad luck, the rainstorm in Bank Shot, the rain washed the paint away, made the search less active, the captain of the police, funny names in there, one of them is named Block, guys he plays poker with, a book with Brian Garfield, doing cameos, pot-bellied, when the book came out, some diet stuff in there, the doctor character, the backer, Kelp, no matter what he said, “that’s a shame”, it’s money in the bank, we got a good shot on this one, he left the keys in it, you stole the man’s car and turned around and asked him for money, an AMC Javelin, we’re supposed to think it’s the same car, he only drives doctor’s cars, the doctor did fine, it’s double, I’m not in the right business for some things, Help I’m Being Held Prisoner, Ed McBain, Money For Nothing, you have been activated, many years he’s been receiving cheques in the mail, a sleeper agent, Downtown by Ed McBain, as one should, a lot of bad stuff was going on at that time, because of Yoda, the little green guy?, backwards you are, The Empire Strikes Back, stay with me, helping your friends is a mistake, alone in my cult, unfinished, a serial, the first one is done, saves the galaxy, wins the heart of the space princess, the respect of the scoundrel, you did not avenge your father, physically embodied as a ghost, Joseph Wambaugh, his 87th Precinct books, came out of Manhunt, like Westlake and Block, changed his name, went to Hunter College in Evanston Illinois, a more marketable name, a less ethnic name, police procedural, writing what you know and getting the facts wrong, flipped Manhattan on it’s side, when you get the facts wrong, he’s not a cop, he’s a writer, the mugger, the killer, Hill Street Blues, NYPD Blue, with more consistent characters, a rapist in town, getting there in a circuitous route, On the Sidewalk Bleeding, has to suppress, he’s read the guys, An Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge, what good wiring looks like, the intersection, from the 50s until the 60s, it wasn’t a detective magazine, it was a crime magazine, series in there, the characters won’t survive the story, only some of them, like a writing school, getting good stuff out there, a pastiche, I Bludgeoned My Brother To Death Over A Sex-Doll, Whatever Lola Wants, Switchblade Magazine, a heinous crime for the best of reasons, the writer not being a cop, he was a cop, The New Centurions, The Glitter Dome, the movie, there is/was an audiobook of it, Trent Reynolds’ review of Downtown, kinda cool, there are other good writers to find, running out of Westlake, other writers to read, in the mood for a really good book, reliable, painting that room, putting that carwash together, China Mieville’s The City And The City, a dimensional portal fantasy, the aspect that it has in it, occupy the same territory, agree to ignore the other one, The Doomed City by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky, randomocracized every year, the librarian is now a janitor, shake things up, when the revolution comes, brushin the streets like the last emperor of China, what are we really talking about here, they’re in hell, not a torture hell, purely psychological, learned, the people from one city have a psychological blindness, not hit each other, consciously repress the knowledge of the other, on screen, really good science fiction on screen, what planet we visit next week, an adaptation, do the same job, film is very different, the latest Parker movie, based on the trailer, they just mention going to a casino off of Cuba, a mishmash of several stories, bits an pieces of seven different scores, City Of Industry (1997), a good scene in it, the end of some book he laughs, he is able to have some kind of human connection, a sexy blonde on a beach, on archive.org, slash fiction, Parker/Grofield gay slash fiction, he’s just saying you’re a part of the team, I find you sexy, handled in this book, I’m not sure if I need a man or a woman tonight, things get stressful, men are too difficult, that fun of Westlake is why, suppressing the humour, the jokes are muted, looking for new authors, Jason Pargin series, John Dies At the End, David Wong, listen to the sample, strong and prevalent, comes across almost immediately, very strong voice, several in a row is too much, we’ve booked The Handle for the 11th of April, knock off a casino, there’s a boat in that one, has to travel 3 or 4 states south, regulation number of lights on it, an experience, this guy is not writing out of his ass, rent a truck, gotta get some insurance, it’s fuckin red herring, right along with it, three sixes, suddenly the whole van’s moving, Merch’s mom, hearts, shoot the moon, she is shooting the moon, get the lowest number of hearts, 13 points for the queen of spades, the low score wins, you get everything, poker I do, both doing it in the same place, him having fun, what the hell is happening, decorated the place up, in the other room blasting, it’s pure comedy, they didn’t really fuck it up, the magic of the book, the magic of the writer, a movie improve on a book, I don’t need a movie version of Parker, or a slash fiction version of Parker, they would go together wouldn’t they?

Posted by Jesse Willis

Reading, Short And Deep #394 – Hard Sell by Lawrence Block

Reading, Short And Deep

Reading, Short And Deep #394

Eric S. Rabkin and Jesse Willis discuss Hard Sell by Lawrence Block

Here’s a link to a PDF of the story.

Hard Sell was published in Ed McBain’s Mystery Book, No. 1, 1960 (ghost written for Craig Rice).

Posted by Scott D. Danielson Become a Patron!

Aural Noir review of Downtown by Ed McBain

Aural Noir: Review

Here’s the first review by a long time internet ally, fellow proponent of all things Donald E. Westlake, and soon a guest on The SFFaudio Podcast.

BOOKS ON TAPE - Downtown by Ed McBainSFFaudio EssentialDowntown
By Ed McBain; Read by Michael Prichard
8 Cassettes – Approx. 8 Hours [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: Books On Tape
Published: 1992
ISBN: 0736621423
Themes: / Crime / New York / Humor / Murder / Mistaken Identity /

Michael Barnes is in New York on business. He has a couple of hours to kill before his plane leaves. It’s Christmas Eve. When he stops for a drink, he finds a young woman very attracted to him. He swells with masculine pride. But soon Michael’s wallet and then his rented car are stolen – only to resurface on the other side of town in unexpected company – a corpse!

There’s nothing quite like picking up a book (metaphorically) you’ve never heard of and know nothing about and discovering that you’ve stumbled across a classic. This was my experience with Ed McBain’s Downtown.

A classic? Strong words, there, Trent. But I mean it. I just recently read Donald Westlake’s The Hot Rock, which I loved and which is considered the classic comic crime novel. Downtown is nearly if not just as good (although very different).

Our protagonist is Michael Barnes, an orange-grower from Florida who is about to fly out of New York City on Christmas Eve, after a meeting with his advertising agency, when he gets hustled by a gorgeous woman and her fake police detective accomplice in an airport bar. His drivers license, credit cards, and money now gone, he goes downtown to report the crime to the police, getting his rental car stolen along the way. From there, he ends up on the lam accused of murder, running hither and thither meeting all sorts of strange people and ending up in all sorts of strange situations as he tries to figure out just what the hell is going on.

Tempering this craziness is the fact that Michael Barnes has some serious emotional baggage–he’s a cuckold and bitter about it, has issues with his mother, and was scarred by his combat experience in Vietnam (although he’s not an offensive psycho stereotype, thank God). These emotional scars are played upon masterfully by McBain, for dark humor or for grounding moments of pathos as appropriate, and they give Downtown a humanity that makes the whole farce unexpectedly powerful.

I don’t know why Downtown isn’t better known. Maybe Ed McBain just pumped out so many books that lots of his stuff falls through the cracks while readers get stuck trying to read the 87th Precinct and Matthew Hope novels in order. Maybe it’s because nobody made a movie out of it (although see below). Maybe, and this is a strong possibility, the style of humor doesn’t appeal to a broad enough audience.

Whatever the reason, Downtown deserves much better than obscurity. It’s clever, witty, touching, and terrific.

That’s the book review portion of this write-up, but I don’t want to end without bringing up something that struck me while listening to Downtown.

With a movie director figuring prominently in the plot, Downtown is loaded with film references (including to Evan Hunter/Ed McBain films The Birds and Fuzz). A movie not mentioned is one that Downtown bears a great resemblance to–Martin Scorsese’s After Hours.

If you’re not familiar with this film (too few people are), After Hours is a comedy about a fairly-average Joe who meets all sorts of strange people and ends up in all sorts of strange situations in late-night Manhattan. Oh, and he also gets accused of a crime he didn’t commit.

The setting and several story elements in After Hours are very similar to Downtown. The style of humor (dry with repetitive absurdity) also bears a marked resemblance. Both even feature prominent references to The Wizard Of Oz.

Coincidence? Homage? Rip-off (I doubt that)? Subconscious borrowing? We’ll likely never know. But if you liked After Hours, you’ll probably like Downtown, and vice versa. And if you’re not familiar with either, do yourself a favor and check them both out.

I listened to the 1992 edition of Downtown from Books on Tape, read by Michael Prichard. When I started the book, I thought his reading was stiff, but I quickly recognized that he had done a great job capturing the somewhat-uptight, neurotic lead character. Mr. Prichard is also quite skilled in creating voices to distinguish the many other characters without resorting to ridiculous exaggerations or outrageous accents (in a book with a lot of ethnic characters, no less). Downtown is written in a highly rhythmic style, with lots of short sentences and lots of repetition. Prichard grasps this and captures the novel’s rhythms superbly. It’s a really good reading.

There are two other editions of Downtown (both available at Audible.com), an abridged version from Phoenix Books read by Stephen Macht and an unabridged version from Brilliance Audio read by David Regal. For the sake of comparison, I listened to the available samples of both.

Downtown is a lousy candidate for abridgment, but even if it wasn’t I wouldn’t care for Stephen Macht’s reading, which is overdramatic.

David Regal’s reading is considerably better. His interpretation is quite different from Michael Prichard’s, making Michael Barnes sound like a traveling salesman. I would have to hear more to have a real sense of how well this works but I heard enough that I think I can judge it a solid effort. Go with the Books on Tape edition if you can find it, but if you can’t, Regal’s version will likely do as a substitute.

Posted by Trent Reynolds

Aural Noir Review of Drive by James Sallis

Aural Noir: Review

Blackstone Audio - Drive by James SallisDrive
By James Sallis; Read by Paul Michael Garcia
Audible Download – 3 Hours 26 Minutes [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: Blackstone Audio
Published: 2007
Provider: Audible.com
Themes: / Crime / Noir / Los Angeles / Hollywood / Arizona /

“Much later, as he sat with his back against an inside wall of a Motel 6 just north of Phoenix, watching the pool of blood lap toward him, Driver would wonder whether he had made a terrible mistake. Later still, of course, there’d be no doubt. But for now Driver is, as they say, in the moment. And the moment includes this blood lapping toward him, the pressure of dawn’s late light at windows and door, traffic sounds from the interstate nearby, the sound of someone weeping in the next room…”

Drive starts with an important dedication. “To Donald Westlake, Ed McBain and Larry Block.” If an author is going to choose any three modern crime writers as inspiration for a book they could pick no better three than these dudes. Drive starts off with an opening sentence that could have been written by Richard Stark (a pen-name of Donald Westlake), proceeds to punch-out clean and clinical prose like McBain’s 87th Precinct novels and punches the story along like Lawrence Block at his best. Drive stars “Driver”, a nameless Hollywood stunt driver by day and a criminal getaway driver by night. We get how he started in the business of stunt-driving, a few scenes of him pulling off those incredible feats of automotive control, and how he got involved in the punishing business of criminal getaway driving. It’s fast, but it ain’t furious, it’s more of a simmering sizzle.

Blackstone narrator Paul Michael Garcia, who I last heard as the reader of Starman Jones, has a young voice – I knew I’d enjoy his reading of something in this genre. Garcia’s narration made it an incredibly solid listen. What’ll keep it from being a classic of the niche is that same anonymity of the protagonist. I enjoyed the ride with the guy, the “driver”, he has an incredible story to tell, but it was like I got hypnotized by the road somehow – I got to the end, refreshed and exhilarated but not particularly aware of what route we took. Perhaps this makes Drive the ideal summertime, top down, high-gear audiobook? It’s a novella so it’s short and you’ll zip through it practically before the commute is over. I think its worth giving a try.

Posted by Jesse Willis

The SFFaudio Podcast #006

Podcast

The SFFaudio PodcastThe SFFaudio Podcast #006 is here. Six is the loneliest number (after 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5) dontchanknow. In this our 6th, and sixth loneliest, show we’re asking lonely questions like: ‘If you had to choose a universe without either Ray Bradbury or Neil Gaiman, which would you pick?’ And ‘Which is the worst audiobook recording ever made?’ Pod-in to find out the answers to these and many more exciting questions that nobody asked us.

Topics discussed include:

StarShipSofa’s Aural Delights
, Paul Campbell, Michael Marshall Smith, The Seventeenth Kind, Estalvin’s Legacy, Rebels Of The Red Planet, Charles L. Fontenay, The 2nd SFFaudio Challenge, Parallel Worlds, The Graveyard Book, Neil Gaiman, The Jungle Book, American Gods, The Fix Online, Audiobook Fix, author read audiobooks, Harlan Ellison, Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, Stephen King, Robert J. Sawyer, James Patrick Kelly, Good Omens, Terry Pratchett, Neverwhere, Gary Bakewell, if you had to pick…, Stardust, Douglas Adams, Roger Zelazny, The Long Dark Tea Time Of The Soul, radio drama, BBC Radio 4, BBC iplayer, Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer, The Supernaturalist, The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy [the Ivory Coast edition], The Spanish Prisoner, Strange Horizons, Shaun Farrell, From iTunes to the Bookshelves: The First Wave of Podcast Novelists, Podiobooks.com, Nathan Lowell, Quarter Share, Evo Terra, Pavlovian experience, Ed McBain, Donald E. Westlake, NPR, Driveway Moments,

Posted by Jesse Willis