The SFFaudio Podcast #873 – AUDIOBOOK/READALONG: Killing Time by Donald E. Westlake

The SFFaudio Podcast #873- Killing Time by Donald E. Westlake (4 hours 25 minutes) read by Ben Tucker for LibriVox, followed by a discussion of it. Participants in the discussion include Jesse, Scott Danielson, Maissa Bessada, and Misha Burnett

Talked about on today’s show:
1961 novel, the great Donald E. Westlake, different titles, the same book, The Mercenaries, tore this book up, a new Donald Westlake, a phase, found everything by him, many pseudonyms, a lot of books, the Parker novels, strongly recommended, Plunder Squad, Butcher’s Moon, so much more Westlake, something to live for, maybe 10 of them, science fiction shorts, Anarchaos, a handful, I love him, as you should, real hard at the end, poor Maissa, mostly, feels like Donald Westlake, about the ending, for real, pretend to talk about the book, the “spoiler” word, one of the most stupid words for understanding reality, can there be a sequel to this book with the main character, he’s dead?, any other ideas?, the rules of fiction, a first person narrative where he dies at the end, first person past tense, another interpretation, he shot Cathy, the last three paragraphs, the pile of lumber, the front stoop, only got 2 minutes left, calling my name, far far away, between us was Cassal, cradling a shotgun, you set this up, I had to, the sound I heard was Cathy screaming, he shot Cathy, that hurt him more than anything, both ways, a first person narrative, if he died, even cooler now, he’s good, he didn’t forget that, how this book works, pretty weird book, what this book is, Red Harvest from the insider’s perspective, a Dashiell Hammett novel, Bruce Willis, can’t talk anymore, Yojimbo (1961) by Akira Kurosawa, samurai, very famous western starring Clint Eastwood, A Fistful Of Dollars (1964), an unproductive screenplay adapting Red Harvest, the Op, the Continental Op, a series character, was a Pinkerton, very quiet these days, Blackwater, private military agency, Red Dead Redemption, terrific game, Grand Theft Horse, a podcaster, Pinkerton’s Ghosts, a paranormal investigation branch, Hearst, the HBO show Deadwood, the first Hearst, the way you get rich is not by finding gold but by finding people who found gold, corruption, legal corruption, a private police force, a private army, mercenaries, security guards, overthrowing a town, we don’t find that out right away, a super-political book, social commentary, the situation people are in, hobby horse ideas, he’s very non-office, a book about politics, different factions, politics today, political philosophy, pure power, causes, 2 parties, which one is trying to take over, confused, the why behind all of it, Tim, a sympathetic character, do anything to defend his life, justified and necessary, three quarters of the killing, a war, stretching, an allegory for other wars, pointless killing, my team, your team, that is his political position, reading it today, zoom out, one country getting in the middle, a proxy war, manipulating both, my own army now, now I can fight this war, making that climax occur, to destroy both of them, he’s kinda like Conan, how can I exploit this situation, for a fist full of dollars, a comedy, a ronin, a samurai without a master, he’s talking about things he knows, themes, secretly obsessed with insurance, me not notice, this book has insurance, tomato boxes, gets the girl to do it, to protect himself, hedge your bets, something to do with insurance, my guy Richard Stark, kinda shocking, the stage, excited about producing local theater, write plays?, a performer, like Grofield in the Parker novels, Westlake is making fun of himself, really I’m an actor, I need to rob this bank to make another season of summerstock, producing plays that nobody goes to, 2017, many years ago, the name of the play that was produced, Tim Smith, leaned over and looked at the script, read it upside down, on page 68, A Sound Of Distant Drums, if it was a hit, good luck, this is a game of tennis Donald Westlake played with Lawrence Block, a movie theater, thinking about something, deciding on something, a restaurant, a Pizza Hut, when he walks out of the movie theater, reading a paperback on a park bench, what fun, why is that in there, a little piece of colour, the whilhelm scream, very distinctive, the Tarzan yodel, a little checkbox, Westlake does that a lot, self-referential moments, the Dortmunder novels, Jimmy The Kid, Andrew Kelp is in jail and reads “Child Heist” by Richard Stark, reads snippets, this is how we do it, Adios Scheherazade, Point Blank in the movie theater, the worst (first) of the Parker novels, became himself, out for revenge, revenge is stupid, a character arc, we get this instead, she was screaming, listen, that last page, 221 pages, page 211, the plant was wrapped in flames, the neutral cops, crawl down backwards, way down the street, cradling, icy cold, you set this up, the sound I heard, who’s dead, shot by somebody else, shooting the last vestiges of himself, Tim shot Cathy, it doesn’t say that, the worst thing he could have done, he raised the shotgun, that’s not what it says, if we’re filming this, he points the shotgun at Tim, fade to black, but fade to black, choose your own ending, either way it works really well, the spinning top at the end of Inception, no matter how many Donald Westlake movies you think exist there’s always more, It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963) sort of movies, half-way through it, Cops And Robbers (1973), 2 new adaptations, Memory (retitled The Actor), right after Westlake died, always new last books coming out, a Bob Hope style character, one of the Stark novels, or a Dortmunder novels, the Stark novels get pretty bizarre, Ask The Parrot, 1951 Ford, an interesting fact, Score in the title, The Green Eagle Score, an airforce base, Westlake was a cop, he was a “snowtop” white helmeted, Navy police, break up fights, a cop in Germany, he’s never really on their team, or they’re criminals, a bit surprising, a little tubby, a little flab on him, he’s rich, he doesn’t have to work for a living, the easy life, the anti-Raymond Chandler, not starving, they don’t make good cars anymore, he’s getting paid by everybody, he’s the badguy, listening to his arguments, the pot-holes are filled, useless turds who didn’t know how to run the town, the analogy, The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, the safest road to hell is gentle underfoot, the perfect rationalizer, he doesn’t think of himself as a bad guy, evil, him staying quiet, screwed out of his house, the tax shift, never willing to say I did something wrong, confess to a lawyer, confess to a priest, not my job, to do terrible things and say it was my job, as an example, AOC, she thinks she’s a good person, she ain’t she won’t talk about things that are true, the other team, stuff they won’t talk about, with Tim in the diner, why is he up so late eating that sandwich, difficulty sleeping, why won’t he marry her, the death of the family, what’s missing, he likes her well enough, deep down he’s not a good guy, he’s not thinking about her, Westlake never hits us with this, this guy’s trying to kill him, Somebody Owes Me Money, people getting knocked off, a light comedy with romance, the girl is involved with trying to kill him, gambling winnings, fun, his father is constantly trying to find a loophole, The Risk Profession, an insurance adjuster, roads and traffic, tiny little wee story, technically science fiction?, people driving around New York, a hyperrealized version of our reality, a parking lot, people sitting in their cars, they’re just in there, they live in there, sit behind the driver’s seat of the car and wait in a parking lot?, do they have a job they’re supposed to be at?, that’s what inspires Westlake, a story idea, the overturning of the government in this town is not a good idea, corrupt but works, a clue, it works for him, incompetent government is a real thing, switching to another team, this reformist group, one party to get it over on the other party, this association secretly backed, for his own power, a very very cynical book but doesn’t feel it until the end, floating along, it’s a whodunit, the bodyguard, maybe I’m misreading this book, one of the lines that repeats, one of my seven closest friends is trying to kill me, he can’t honestly say, depressing, gets arrested, national guard, definitely not him, we think of Cathy being close to him, does he love her?, you didn’t even bother to tell me, shot at the first time, I had a need to talk to somebody, unload, is that selfishness, Scott does a lot of stuff for me, I hope I’m not using, a trade?, some people keep score, helped you move three times, when your dog is sick, fetched that ball for you, I need that dog for that sled dogging race next week, gut punch, got nervous, why are we going to war?, you should leave town, the final time: I’m going to war, why?, selfishness, he is a bad guy, almost tries to stop, killing his friend, I’m just gonna stand here and watch and wait, pulls him back, conscience, his first impulse, willing to accept corruption as the price of soft roads, if you listen to the mafia, all the good works they do for their town, I keep the neighbourhoods clean, no racism element, an all black town, an all white town, very targetedly political, as they get older, at certain point they freeze politically, can’t be surprised by new things, Lawrence Block, very closed mouths about his poltics, his home, New York, Hollywood, Hills View?, random audiobook of a Donald Westlake short, The Girl Of My Dreams, upstate New York, Manhattan, when you move to a small town, a store over there, that guy is a veteran, the lady who collects cats, the high school, the cement was filled with sand, he’s a good guy, a story, a thing that happened, Las Vegas 30 years ago, his last day, retiring, when the mob was in charge of Las Vegas, some pickpocket, they just took care of it, nice for the tourists, my potholes are full, this incident a lot, a true story, a break-in, stolen comics, a burglary, not, that’s not a thing, I know how this system works, in this conversation, trying not to dispatch cops, investigate burglaries, a criminal gang, the Bacon brothers, what building they’re in, should I go an knock on this person’s door, ask them to do it?, this is how it works, if I can’t get justice from the official system, the unofficial system, the opening sequence of The Godfather, political parties come and go, drugs not to be dealt in the schoolyard, he’s not going to stand for that, his only client is blackmailing everybody who’s grafting, the cop who he waves to, a member of a family who gets all the contracts, everybody needs a job, selling out the country, giving away everything, everyone is corrupt, this fake insurgency, drain the swamp, maybe Westlake knows better than me, everything is corrupt and totally evil, the Westlake Review (website), this paragraph, intentions, played both ends against the middle, didn’t know who he was, the moral of the piece, a complete picture, not a soft book, a whole lot deeper than it appears, brilliantly, look on the surface like happy goofy comedies, just fun entertainment, in the middle of the night, subtle, year and year and years ago, early 80s, reading everything by him, The Fugitive Pigeon, a “nephew” novel, a throw away line, used to write crossword puzzles for a living, the poet is on the pumpkin (five letters), 40 years later, Frost!, always working, he’s really good at that, a mystery novel, he wrote those, his science fiction books, it has a mystery in it, that’s not really what it’s about, hanging out with a good guy, a corrupt jerk?, evil guy?, pretty fuckin evil, oh man!, filming the ending, prefer Cathy be killed, it hits harder, underscores the point more, we care whether he does or not, that’s why we don’t need any more, a girl like her is a dime a dozen, figuring out where to end a story, figuring out where to beginning a story, I didn’t mean to read the whole thing, make sure the file is all there, 100 something pages into it, amazing, a page of opening lines of Parker novels, When the phone rang the Parker was in the garage killing a man, the night apron man, a mirror of him, unusual moniker, he glanced at me, ex-middleweight, his suit was brown and old, better to hide the gun with, it is that, he agreed, that’ll help, being sarcastic to each other, what’s this Smith’s front name?, a whole lot of buildup, writing stuff, writing stuff, keep your typewriter ribbon wet, quick, get it done, a little bit of revision, writing a novel is different, you have to make it work, Westlake novels and Block novels, Westlake never wrote a bad novel, they’re not all The Score, Kahawa, the coffee one set in Kenya, still no audiobook of it, Swahili for coffee, the reign of Idi Amin, very powerful, you don’t think politics, near Aruba, a non-fiction book coup, very interested in politics, in constructing this book, can we reconstruct how it was constructed, a full time writer, he writes, he observes people, with that observer’s eye, trained to look for stories, driving up to Westchester, this town is different, he was a solider, probably in WWII, he goes to war again, boosting tires and selling them (maybe to the Nazis), he was in the army but he was corrupt, undercuts, we can’t sympathize with Parker because he’s inhuman, so efficient, commentary on people, he’s everyman, just wants to be comfortable, everybody wants to be comfortable, Citizens For Clean Government, a voice of reason and conscience, she was wrong to put her faith in him, why are you doing this, he has money in the bank, he could have, a way to say: have a look, here you go, Guy De Maupassant, a 1906/1907 reprint, retell the plot of a Maupassant story, observant of humans, the same taskmaster, there was a family friendship, Gustave Flaubert, train in the practice of fiction writing, go and walk about the town, really seen the things, make me see them, eagerly write, the most essential points, send him out again, he had seen nothing whatsoever, little by little, this discipline trained the mind, the fewest possible words, a perfect etching, a wonderful observer, in his 30th year, Ball Of Fat, everyone instantly recognized, a new writer of great power, 200 or more short stories, a writer’s writer, Stephen King, named his own pseudonym, Richard Bachman, how sublte he is, he doesn’t hit you over the head, understated, who wrote this book, it was Westlake, he does this thing with character’s hands, they spread their hands, particular personality types, to talk to the first representative, hands going all over the place, a Westlakism, observing, play with your hands a lot, observing a real thing, a few that do, perfect little chracterization, a signature by Westlake, in his comic books, dialogue with somebody’s whole body, seek to incorporate, in this particular case, hands waving all over the place, not just personality, how emotionally invested, specific examples, page 40, the scene, page 39, we are only interested in dishonesty in government, the town: Winston, 1 tavern which stays open, pays bribes to the patrolman on the beat, the crime of staying open, the crime of accepting bribes, the CCG, seems very reasonable, the second gloss, moving the politics needle, changing the politics, 1 finger raised, icy enthusiasm, he had memorized it because he liked it, the reason is what the reason is, honest local citizens, cop on the beat, slight trace, stylistic reasons, can’t help but be comedic, he didn’t talk he wrote out loud, an honest patrolman, he spread his hands and smiled once more, by ending the first crime, the permission or even assistance, wipe out governmental crime, dandy theory, liable to be just as money hungry, a permanent incorruptible watchful guard, an aroused and aware citizenry, keep the crooks out forever, some of it would be more than useful in our fight against corruption, turns out he’s naive, he’s right, the scales are lifted from your eyes, you really believe that, oh no, the follow-up scene, come clean as it were, pretty clear he knows the score, he’s like us, because he doesn’t see it, it doesn’t happen, ai manipulation in this genocide, he wouldn’t come at it directly, very very subtle book, the political issues of the day, The Spy In The Ointment, Up Your Banners, a pacifist secret agent, passivist political organization, it’s funny, politics of the 1960s, public schools in New York, a humorous story, generally funny, one of the most serious books, inverted humour, you don’t understand something until it makes you laugh, recognition, handling serious subjects with the lightest of touch, compare him to Block, a little more overtly political, The Thief Who Couldn’t Sleep, joins every revolution, an uprising in Tanganyika, La Guardia airport, was it political, thought process, if I say yes the conversation is over, oh ok, a political movement then it is okay, very subtle, it doesn’t come across, a short story, The Spy In The Elevator, Curious Facts, dystopia hellscape, in a dystopian novel in a short story, funny funny little world, it’s Socrates and the myth of the cave, they don’t know there’s an external reality, how great is Westlake, superlatives, Tolkien and Westlake, subtlety, look for the signs, so smooth, literally great, he’s GREAT, undercut by how digestible it is, spoonful of sugar, a very sour book, it went down real easy, this is a poison pill, that’s well measured, he did it real well, his theater influence, performing and producing, adept at getting into people’s heads, stage stuff, the worst actor, doing bad acts, performer, very well done, that guy’s like me, doesn’t know what to do with hands, he can’t help himself, hard-boiled book, the sandwich gets shot, and the formica, are really hardboiled book, pick up another Westlake, Westlakes to read, Westlakes that I have read, a chihuahua having a nervous breakdown, not much that we can do, Westlake.com website’s down, a Japanese adaptation of The Axe, a Michael Caine movie that’s similar, quite long for a Westlake, Robert Duvall, none of them are right, he laughs in that one, the best adaptation, not Mel Gibson, the spirit of it, not Jathan Stathem, the one called Parker, a mashup of The Hunter and Slayground, City Of Industry, not an official adaptation, very much a Parker plot, The Sour Lemon Score, much too subtle, pacifist secret agent, Up Your Banners, a schoolteacher during desegregation of public schools, inverted humour, you don’t really understand something until it makes you laugh, don’t want to be dumb, because of recognition, handling serious subjects, with the lightest of touch, tennis game, overtly political, The Thief Who Couldn’t Sleep, joins every revolution, an uprising in Tanganyika, Dancing Aztecs, Pedro Ninny, was it political?, if I say yes the conversation is over, The Spy In The Elevator, so light and fluffy, dystopian hellscape, a dystopian novel in a dystopian hellscape in a short story, Socrates in the myth of the cave, an external reality, reject it, how great is Westlake, comparing to superlatives, so smooth, he’s GREAT, undercut by how digestible it is, a very sour book, went down real easy until the war starts, a poison pill, well measured, his theater influence, performing and producing, adept at getting into people’s heads, stage stuff, the worst actor, doesn’t know what to do with hands, a hardboiled book, the sandwich gets shot, don’t forget about the formica, pick up another Westlake, chihuahua nervous breakdown, movies come out, a new adaptation of The Axe, a Michael Caine movie, who was the best Parker, Robert Duvall, he laughs in that one, the best adaptation, not Mel Gibson, the spirit of it, Jason Statham, City Of Industry (1997), Harvey Keitel, at a stoplight, Reservoir Dogs, almost Parker scenes, his own stuff, Cops And Robbers is a good movie, the book is better, Robert Redford, The Hot Rock, with him it’s the words, and the perfomances, he puppeteers those characters, the Dortmunder/Kelp relationship, George C. Scott, a comedy of errors, habitual crime, softboiled, the best Parker novel?, The Man With The Getaway Face, Westlake writing about Dortmunder, a hot potato, Bank Shot, supplemental characters, a lot like cheers, Drowned Hopes, for Scott, Humans, His own Creation, ragtag collection of human misfits, a fireman from Chernobyl, The Last Novel You Will Ever Read, more public domain novels, send it to Scott, too expensive, ex-wife took his books, grounds for divorce, front seat of the van, The Comedy Is Finished, Bob Hope and his illegitimate son, more Westlake is always good, National Enquirer, Trust Me On This, Baby Would I Lie, Florida based vacations, he knew somebody, so vividly, too well, The Cutie (The Mercenaries), Hard Case Crime, shy away, the punk was innocent, find that cutie before the cutie, The Busybody, 361, Brothers Keepers, Bank Shot is only 6 hours, no massive violence, cronies, The Capitalists And Immigrants Trust, ditch the bank, Kelp’s nephew, gangbusters, Herman X, a lockman, black militant, pirated version, The Girl Of My Dreams read by Roddy McDowell, Don’t Ask, Get Real, tabloid ones, What’s So Funny, Sin Hellcat with Lawrence Block, I’m sold, 4 hour 4 minutes, probably wrote it in a weekend, a nice way to kill a few hours, erotica, Adios Scheherazade, A Likely Story, The Stepfather, an alternative proposal, Too Much by Donald Westlake, a comedy, a movie, kind of a comedy, a gimmick cover, a special name for that, some fuzzy texture over part of the cover, bikinis, remove the fuzzy pink stuff, on camera, Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas, Daryl Hannah, a lot deeper, goofy sex comedy, the main character ends up not being who you think he is, a warning, cute and cuddly on the surface and murderous underneath, today’s narrator Ben Tuck, a 45 minute commute, reading Conan, three or four months later, read a Solomon Kane story, ready for another Conan, space em out, you don’t want to spend your whole week with Jesse, too recently, flexible, a Two Much Easter egg, the greeting card company, a rather ridiculous memory, real world stuff, fictional stuff, Detour by Martin M. Goldsmith, nice and short, there’s a movie version, considered a b-movie classic, the book is way better, wrote 2 episodes of the original Twilight Zone, movie scripts, the nuking of New York, a realtime nuking, from the 1940s, a hitchhiker, across the desert, injuries sustained earlier, he buries him in the desert, a girl at a gas station, what’d you do with the body?, backstory, halfway through the book, she’s got her own affair going on, really good narrative voice, really solid book, a prewar book, some co-writing on movies, wreck your life, The Princess Bride, nothing of theirs is never published again, making money writing, screenplays, writing into the void, moved back away from Hollywood, so lucky, treasure, sounds fun, how can you know, until you start running out, there I was, Tim Powers, his first book that’s still around, Laser Books, Dinner at Deviant’s Palace, they’re not the same guy, Westlake is much more prudish, broader humour and less dry, got a lot more sex in it than anything else he’s written, did he go to Africa for that?, something that actually happened, people involved in the heist, repay the people, by never mentioning their names, we’ve done Sin Hellcat, Westlake wrote a superhero story, The Busy Body, Brother And Sister, in for a treat, yay incest!, do I have to?, 3 hours 25 minutes, not horrible, his enthusiasm is not in it, downmarket swamp, Swamp Hoyden, a boisterous girl, Nudist Camp by Orrie Hitt, Veronica by Donald Westlake, write a lot of them, a real novel with a stupid premise, write me a book to match this title, the Block one we did, The Triumph Of Evil, assassinating the president, not as dark as that, this book sneaks up on you, The Anderson Tapes, Such Men Are Dangerous, Hit Man, collects stamps, numismatist and philatelist, travels across the country, a woman who books his hits, a weird philosophical I’m a hitman and a nice guy, regular characters, levity, just fun, this matter-of-factness of the characters, how many Bloch shorts have you read, he’ll take the silliest little idea of a story, Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine, nice jeans, it’s hard to get good jean, dog food factory, that’s the whole story, dogfood out of humans, gets paid both ways, little twist of the knife, did fantastic, opportunities to jabber on about your favourite books, I loved that book, finding people to talk about ai, an old guy from the 60s, take that chihuahua for some food, cruising right along, trained up, going to work, a white lab, a yellow lab that’s platinum, lab coat, a lot of fun, very active dude, throw the ball, loves to retrieve, watch it roll by, threaten to steal the ball, homeland in newfoundland, see the old country, 4 day visit, uncles and aunts and cousin, she wanted to have a farm, 50 years, a goose, 2 calves born recently, a million chickens, turkeys, wanting to get up at 4am, all-in, since she was a little girl, getting her wish, starting new people every month, on and on, almost like you’re training people, certify-em then train-em, old job, Florida parking garage, small town Idaho, pumice factory, cement blankets, Technovelgy (Bill Christensen), a culvert or ditch, burlap embeded with cement, spray it, makes an instant contoured bank, a hard foundation, pumice for cement, fluffing it up, regular cement and rebar, very flat, students love stories, really?, yes indeed, might learn something this way, control systems, little piece of tech, Mr. Spock was Scott’s Mr. Rogers, not engineer Scott, the guy that was relied on, the miracle work, transporters are bullshit, this is a nebula, we can drink ourselves into it, the space hippies one, he’s interested in them, convinces Kirk, overdone, meet some millenials, different customs and lifestyles, as a gen-x er, who wrote that one, The Way To Eden, D.C. Fontana, he’s on the crew, he wrote The Sound Of Music, Arthur Heinemann, The Wink Of An Eye, Space Lincoln!, a lot of dumb things, riles me up, seems like a nice guy, Bear Island, Alistair MacLean, bin full, can you read it to me?, pass it around, Fortnite, more cartoony version, building, High Adventure, Samuel Holt is Donald Westlake, I Know A Trick Worth Two Of That, giant Tor, from his time in Hollywood, an ex-actor, a cross between James Garner and Tom Selleck, drives a fancy car, gets involved in crimes, people saw him as a private detective on TV, a bin, bins full of books, how do we get people to do audiobooks, no possibility of keeping them online, Quasar Spectra, Meteor Strike by Donald Westlake, crusin for a brusin, 1965, pre-90s science fiction, new stuff all the time, The Robot Who Looked Like Me by Robert Sheckley, Solar Shoe Salesman, John Sladek making fun of Philip K. Dick, good narration, quite a few new audiobook people on utube, we’re lucky, living in a glorious time, also horrible, find some coffee, throw the ball for dog, having a helluva time, it has become impossible to sell books, used to be, unless pretty obscure, zero views, ebay, facebook marketplace, good pricing and fast moving, a bookseller, stack of stuff, goodwill store, signed and numbered, at some point your putting in effort to get less than a reward, stacks and stacks, new used books, unless scanning, this is a book!, a problem, work book group, not the best thing in the world, Dungeon Crawler Carl, litRPG, got a cat with him, 2020, pretty popular, a romance, the median is new, that’s the problem, Ben-Hur or Beowulf, if you’ve read the author before, toss a Westlake over the wall, if it is on kindle, what happened to the estate, everything went ebook, a shame, One Of Us Is Wrong, no ebook, when will there be one?, a hardcover for $25, used bookstores have been disappearing, thrift shop, they still have books, used bookstores, we’re at the price floor situation, Alien Earth episodes, strung out, it’s ok, the boy wonder facebook guy, the lost boys, the lost girl wendy, Raised By Wolves, fun premise, petered out nothing happened, Timothy Olyphant, another mom and dad style robot, interstellar flight, raising humans, decanted on the other planet, raised by robots, kinda like a science fiction novel premise, stuff happens is the worst thing ever, it’s the fetch quest starting, I can turn it off, Mission Impossible movie, two-parter, a summing up of all the Mission Impossible movies, giant fetchquest, what it really was, Collosus The Forbin Project, the badguy is an ai, spend all our time saying Tom Cruise is Jesus, do we trust, the anti-god, it’s all on the surface, why we got to save the planet this time, about nothing, good parts but, the surface depths, nothing from the ai’s point of view, climbing, falling, stuff happening very well, a strong idea, a painful idea, how can we do better than that?, luck on your Dungeon Crawl with Carl, a good talk out it?, allowed to say bad things, if nobody loves the book already, if favourite writer, we could do better, you’re wrong we can never be friends again, none of them are bad, traumatizing, thank you sir.

Killing Time

Posted by Jesse Willis

The SFFaudio Podcast #870 – READALONG: Lord Of Light by Roger Zelazny

The SFFaudio Podcast #870 – Jesse and Scott Danielson discuss Lord Of Light by Roger Zelazny

Talked about on today’s show:
1967, a bunch of awards?, a Hugo, nominated for a Nebula, novelettes in Fantasy & Science Fiction, Jesse’s gonna have trouble with this one?, lotsa things, may have modeled Jesse’s mind properly, “like”, Nine Princes In Amber, pile of audio, digital pile, read by Zelazny, an author narrated book, Harlan Ellison, Lawrence Block, the Amber series, A Night In Lonesome October, good reason?, the new copyright when they reprint it, a performance copyright, he’s an excellent narrator of his own stuff at least, the guy for this was fine, one mispronunciation, Shiva, Mitra, Robert E. Howard lore, the politics, the suppression, the whole conceit of the novel, a colonization of a planet, pretend to be the Hindu gods, the whole caste system, the demons in the book, suppressing the people and running the show, accelerationism, do we tell all the people about this technology so their lives improve, if everyone is gods nobody will be, everybody on an equal footing, this way to be better than everyone else, getting reincarnated, moving their soul around to different bodies, flippin their genders, making up Nirvana, slowly working through Clark Ashton Smith and Lord Dunsany, Gene Wolfe’s The Book Of The New Sun, hard to read, looking at a super complex object, appreciate it on that level, that’s an interesting object, complex and cool to look at, obscured things, purposely not telling you things, revealing things, little infodump, really interesting, pretty well written, a style a lot of people aren’t gonna get along with, hard to model the people of the period, the least there: when he goes to a town and sees a bunch of people lined up to use a vending machine outside of a temple, a dig at religion?, is the book about religion?, in the Catholic Church, in the Church now, not with this Pope!, people in the past who have used the church for political power, what the church is, the Hindu deities, Hindu pantheon, sorta retelling things, fantasy or science fiction retelling, is the planet that these guys are playing Hindu pantheon Earth?, the answer is supposed to be no, our hero goes to a new town, how to do your prayers properly, played for humour, something smells like shit, that’d be all the shit I’m keeping in jars, new device called a toilet, backstory improving myself, playing a game with the reader, being a bit provocative, that attack Jesse is about to make, it isn’t just the Hindus, the Buddha, what analogy can I do, pick a religion that nobody cares about: the ancient Egyptian pantheon, worshiping Thoth, when did that end?, well documented, super-super-horrible, approx 1500 gods, very inconvenient, the Romans had about 700 gods, a god for every river, every day of the week, Janus, tons and tons of gods, used to control people vs. make your life better, valuable about it, it is helpful, true because helpful, the words of Jesus in this book, a Christian in the last story, a populist religion, topdownism, it wasn’t the king, eventually that does happen, stop viking, not how it started, a secret religion, contrary and opposite to the Roman empire and the Greek religion, they are controlled by their priests and scribes, you need to learn all of this magic, The Book Of The Dead, magic spells, the ancient Egyptian deep state, theocratic agencies, controlling the person at the top and everybody else, how lawyers run things, if you can’t navigate the laws, Augustus is chief pontiff, the head of the religion and the head of the state, the priests are running things, keeping the pharaohs in a dizzying state, subservient to this massive set of gods, we never get to see it from the little people’s point of view, the deep state fighting with itself, John Brennan, the guy with the mustache who wants to nuke everybody, John Bolton, thousands dying with their decisions, the worst example, I am science, Fauci, when they’re attacking science they’re attacking me, that is not how science is, that’s spellcraft, I am in touch with the gods and you have to go through to me, all mistakes, slight improvements and slight tweaks, peer review, Benjamin Franklin, jockeying between transhumanist elites, a topic of regular conversation, change your gender, become immortal, download yourself into an ai, handwavium, Fury by Henry Kuttner, elites controlling little people, interesting what he did here, looking at it the same way, an interesting object, same territory, admire a lot of the writing, mythic event stuff, Michael Moorcock with Elric, a zoomed out quality, Sam woke up at the beginning of the book, a moment remembered by history, paintings, this was momentous, we need to document this, The Sword Of Welleran, The King Of Elfland’s Daughter, a kid takes up the sword of Welleran, other statues, half an hour long, 8 hours, 350 pages, an interesting question to think about, should stories reveal character or show character growth?, the focus has swung, modern novel of science fiction, science fiction has become a setting, no character development at all, an H.G. Wells story, The Star by Arthur C. Clarke, describing the place that he’s in, not the stuff being produced today, the older stuff, you can’t be nostalgic for things 300 years before you were born, Yama, the Death God, multiple names, fighting the assassin, that entire fight was amazing, the aftermath of the fight was amazing, become Buddhist, against my new mindset or worldview, he knew he couldn’t win, profound, beautiful, good stuff, why people like this a lot, star quotes around you like, things to like a lot, oh yes, he’s doing the thing, page 239, borrow unavailable, the fresh bitten thigh of a maiden, one ought to read this subversively, if you don’t you’re a monster, I’m a Slan, no you’re not, Beggars In Spain, I’m one of the sleepless!, the enlightened one, the goddess of night, Tak the Ape, the coexistence of the animal and the divine, like Lovecraft, not the Sam part, snarkiness, smoking, in that direction, subversive, do they smoke Marlboroughs or Lucky Strikes?, treating it kinda lightly, Dick did the same, Dick is a lot like Zelazny, co-wrote a book together, a sequel to The Man In The High Castle, Dick doesn’t do series, not able to do it, super-interested in religions, writing to the Rosicrucians, instinct, too much garbage there, busy work, when you read the words of Jesus, not legends of angels, not genealogies, he never said he was a deity, perhaps some will not agree, monotheistic religions, more conducive to human value, you know who Odin is, and Thor and his brother Loki, the Marvel superheroes, the adventures they have together, they’re a lot like superheroes, The Avengers, tied up in this book in a footnote, the movie Argo, Jack Kirby, Fantastic Four, John Buscema, other artist, The New Gods, superheroes that are actually gods, instead of Vishnu and the elephant god, or the monkey god, they’re NEW gods, like aliens, when he switches to Marvel, The Eternals, too painful, why people love Roger Zelazny, the best things, massively, 24 Views Of Mt. Fuji, By Hokusai, the new five, much less complex, family oriented, very different, the prose, archaic, old fashioned, just talking to you, very familiar, the 70s, fairly direct, The Turning Wheel, eastern mysticism, eastern religion, traveling for religious purposes, controlling people, nothing good, sympathy for Jesus, he isn’t trying to sell you much, it isn’t about enriching the pockets, or putting you under thumb of someone else, harder to do today, the ability to read and read the words, the encyclical, local language, Vatican II, a good move, pro-Vatican II vs. anti-Vatican II, overall a reverence has been lost by moving it to vernacular, the posture of the priest, facing away, worshiping with us, an impersona Christi situation, South American country, the mass, people who can’t read, the magic has gone from it, a reverence for the language, Harry Potter, Our Father Who Art In Heaven, memorizing the latin, the pater noster, just sounds, a series of sounds, what the point of this is, thy will be done, they may be pretty, no intent, alluded to it, hatin on Poe, American literary critic talking to Lesley Stahl, shittin on Harry Potter, maybe it will lead to better books, go on to Hunger Games, literally better books, capable of enjoying them, take some students to go see Harry Potter movies, the spell scenes, just Latin, it sounds interesting and magical, we only partially understand, the priests in Rome doing their holy stuff, chant, music, sounds beautiful, a lot of randos, music knowledgeable, ska has no words, musical lyrics can be incredibly powerful, incredibly inane, Abba lyrics, why am I having this runaround in my head, makes you stupid, something intitally outside of you, advertizement jingles, brain colonized by Madison Avenue, The Space Merchants is a central work, Taylor Swift, numerous commentators, writes about breakups, she writes a song about it, men are horrible, Halfway to Texas, a crazy little girl, someplace new, trying to be strong, whole thing is wrong, you held me back home, this is inane, useless, if you get some benefit out it, that would be punishment, deeply grok them, too simple, lyrics do matter, Sting lyrics, stories that he tells, exceptions to be found, not everything is equal to everything else, monotheist as an improvement over polytheistic, less subject to loopholes, the definite word on this, chemistry, valances, the periodic table, its based on a reality, how they teach it in school, the supposed to be result was, you didn’t clean your test tube enough, the flame close enough, make you conform and get your marks, confidence in chemistry, metallurgy, charcoal nearby, based in a reality, actual science, macroeconomics, no progress in macroeconomics in the last 100 years, truths we won’t factor in, access to make the purse strings open or close, super-evil shit, what is my purpose here on earth, Jesus has an improvement over anybody in this book, sum up the plot of this book: this old system of the elites controlling things and pleasuring themselves – they’re evil fucks, exploiting and denying, a fantasy, an evil fantasy, it’s false, Robert J. Sawyer books, downloading yourself into a robot, make an ai sound a lot like you, chemical treatments, biofeedback, adrenochrome, it’s evil because its lies, religious trappings, people pretending, actual Hinduism, using this framework, the answer is no, the book would have hit a lot harder, a savage attack, science fantasy thing, Urth, not on Earth, uses a name for Earth, we came from this other place, what his purpose was, religions are this, nothing more than this, a really interesting take, Lord Neriti, an extremely violent dude, it’s not that Christian history doesn’t have armies in it, Sam is trying to subvert things, that Jesus speech at the end, taken into account, the words resonate, they’re powerful, back to the stupid Eternals movie, close to 3 hours or 2.5 hours, at least 10 actors, the guy with the gold arms, the guy from India, the guy from China, came to earth to stop some demons, a more positive version of this, a superhero has to fight a supervillian, fighting a bankrobber and you’re Superman, Batman has to fight an ever expanding assortment of insane people, all the horrible Marvel movies, human beings watching superheroes fighting in the sky, we become observers of these lords of immortality and bulletproofness, alien invaders, all silly and stupid, Daredevil is a little more sympathetic, maybe it’s Catholicism or lawyerness, Batman’s fairly broken, he doesn’t have, progressed to The X-Men, from an alien immortal who is invulnerable, to a guy who has no super-weapons, super-interesting, little little kid, never read comics, Green Arrow, never went to a comic shop, at the corner store spinner rack, buying paperbacks, 8 years old, when science fiction became a real thing, original Mr. Spock, Star Trek, tv guide, wake up to see that every single week, minor Star Trek novels, before that, Dolphin Island, a library in the school, an occlusion, at 8 years old, second grade, The Three Investigators, no comics, missed Robert A. Heinlein as a young person, isolated in love for science fiction, conversations in high school, a funny book, into fantasy, when Shannara started, that list of Ballantine Adult Fantasy books, craft, quality, Audio Realms, that audio version, it had music, a book on Genesis by St. Augustine, symbolism and things we lost as humanity, the Bible was our common story, a lot of them are Christians too, Marvel or Star Wars, Star Trek, see what tattoos put on themselves, money is the driving factor, should have stopped, Thunderbolts* (2025) is good, the story had an end, the end happened, Asmongold, who is that?, what is that?, skibidi toilet, these are not corporate, they might be corpratized at some point, Colbert is cancelled, The View is cancelled, on hiatus, not an audience enough for it, the advertizing revenue is drugs and health insurance?, the medium, listen to the radio, sport radio, country radio, a huge sports fans, all the stick games, all the ball games, the Cubs won, did the guy hit the ball?, The Last Inning by Nelson S. Bond, old baseball player, cut from the last team where he gets paid $5 bucks a game, wakes up in Baseball Valhalla, the games are always good, in full swing, Twilight Zone in 15 minute installments, it’s not a sport it’s a pastime, the best episode of Deep Space 9, football now has taken that over, a football game on Sunday nights, MMA, boxing, conversation at work, football is definitely king, dangerous and painful, fantasy football is huge, pickem games, bigger than any other sport, the up down thing, soccer is a bottom up thing, you can play soccer in your backyard, you don’t even need a ball, not as dangerous, basketball you need a basket, you need a rock, rocks are cheap, part of that is participatory, they played it, in the United States there’s a lot of people who really dislike it, comparative, fits American psyche, impatience, clocks, things like that, 45 minute halves, 1 to 0, why basketball is an American sport, Real Salt Lake, she is done, why do I ever want to watch this again, 3 hours of football in which no one scored, anathema, hockey with regards to soccer, a lot more dangerous than soccer, there’s fighting, NHL, a very Canadian thing, Canadian Football League, frozen lakes, see themselves represented in it, go out on the frozen lake, need a pair of skates a stick and rock, top down vs. bottom up, dressage, horse dancing, a horse, a stable, money, stableboy, saddles, riding lessons, you can’t just teach it yourself, polo, like soccer for knights, the stick is easier than the horse, a space bigger than an apartment building, common experience, could have been better had it been a short story, unless it is radically changed for this, Zelazny is a series guy, what like what we see in Amber, not 9 serfs in Amber, sword and sorcery, Brian Murphy’s favourite sword and sorcery stories, Flame And Crimson is the book, The Tale Of Satampra Zeiros, there’s a pudding, a bowl full of pudding that eats one of the guys, Robert E. Howard, Black God’s Kiss, Dragon Moon by Henry Kutter is public domain, The Tritonian Ring by L. Sprague de Camp, Fafhrd and The Grey Mouser, Ill Met In Lankhmar, David Drake, Charles Saunders, Conan in Africa basically, The Shadow Kingdom, Beyond The Black River, Red Nails, Karl Edward Wagner, at this stage of life, The Tower Of The Elephant, everything comes up except for LibriVox, so fucking broken, enshittification, well done Cory Doctorow, Mike Vendetti, just recorded The Hour Of The Dragon, 3 where he’s a king, I’m a do em all, Jesse, didn’t understand copyright, he can do it and he will do it, gets enthusiastic, Sinclair Lewis, The Broken Sword, that first novel in the Elric series, the Fritz Leiber ones are not mythic, way after, the development, Fritz Leiber reads Conan in Weird Tales, him and his friend as the main characters, taking that dungeon crawl you see in some Conan storties, a team, a team-up, D&D-splaining, the party is Tolkien, they get the fellowship, warrior, another warrior, elf, dwarf, thieves, tpk’d, total party killed, only one of them is killed, Lord Dunsany stories, really cool overlay, a sphinx, that’s awesome, he doesn’t say what he’s doing, who killed chronos, The Nightmare Tarn, The Tempter by Robert E. Howard, Howard at his most philosophical, at his most attack on the deep state, the progenitor of things like They Live (1988), really solid, weird that he’s doing kings, corruption from above, his letters with Lovecraft, civilizations become corrupt and evil, leans in and says yes, they’re evil and old and we gotta suppress this knowledge, a one way influence, his Solomon Kane stories, he’s a puritan, largely adventuring in Africa, voodoo men, this is pure evil, we must go fight it, occupy sounds somebody else’s body, here take the staff of Solomon, sort of part of my religion, a mode of that, a suspicion of magic, just fakery, People Of The Black Circle, a retelling of the Marco Polo story of the Hashashim,, reading things from 1000s of years ago, 1254-1324, a certain valley to be enclosed, every variety of fruit, most elegant, all covered with gilding, he kept at his court, 12-20 years of age, tales about paradise, just as Mohammed was wont to do, some four or six, the deep sleep, the state of stupor, delightful objects, lovely damsels, in Paradise, unwilling to relinquish, commands of their master, put death by these disciplined assassins, been exposed to the emnity of the old man of the mountain, fairly familiar, still in use today, it’s the guy who tried to assassinate Trump, evil company, super-evil, people still do this, government related, lonely needs a girlfriend, an operative paid by the government, let’s go blow up a bridge, 7 people in the van, the governor of Michigan, how do we end up doing this?, ply em with money and wine, this is how we’re told suicide bombings work, arrested, Robert E. Howard did a story on this, set in Vendhya (not India), sorcery circle, his magic is largely fake, all you have to do to survive the sorcery is not believe it is legit, a different way of doing it, fireball damage, Harry Potter wand, sumin exportorum, not getting wet, you have to play along, I’m damned, if you are not a believer, it’s an alien, kind of the same story as the book we read today, stapled to a couch for 1000 years, Howard’s a lot more grounded, The Vale Of Lost Women, a god from the outer dark, an alien, it can fly, it’s not human, not a Christian, what do these stories mean, what does it mean to wrestle with gods?, nice language he’s so good at in his poetry, less toleratnt for the stuff happens fantasy novels, a long way of getting to him being interested in this subject, playing a game with himself, readable as either science fiction or fantasy, his playing the game, starships and cigarettes, him breaking that, it depends, science fiction has rivets and fantasy has trees, science fiction that is not the same, hard Science Fiction, The Cold Equations, that’s not fantasy, a philosophical piece of fiction, we have to think about technology, most of them are completely fake, a vaccine for a disease that doesn’t exist, a spaceship that needs fuel, bootstrapped to get to John W. Campbell’s, power like it does, you can’t just magic everything away, the reason we love Star Trek II, the reason we love Star Trek III is Katras, planning, remember, double eyelids, all well and good, that’s series shit, that’s not the part we love, we set up a mechanical style problem and think about , a really awesome thread, the problem with screen addiction is we’ve always had this problem, a dialogue by Plato, The Symposium, people have always been addicted to screens, cave walls, shadow puppets, magic lanterns, illuminated manuscripts, movie screens, talkie movie screens, just like radio now with added screen, home video game screen, cellphones with screens, picture of the guy in the cave, always has been, your body comes with built in screens, when we look at a screen, early science fiction, visiscreens, they’re looking at a television, you can see the world, submarines do not have any windows, how can you navigate without windows, actually going to build the Starship Enterprise, there’s nothing in space to look at, when a romulan ship encounters a federation ship they’re both right side up, listing, it’s all metaphor, we’re told there’s tech, Day Million by Frederik Pohl, without all the religious baggage, deaging cream, get the botox, deluding themselves, technology is the reason it’s not magic, another axis to put this on, Star Trek: New Worlds, set in space, phasers, not magical phasers, dilithium crystal, the axis of bad science fiction, each individual episode needs to be judged on its own, the giant with the giant cigar, The Doomsday Machine, Kirk can do these infodumps, the writer knows, they built a weapon so terrible, they’re gone now, how do you know that bro?, in 45 minutes, an awesome idea, it works as a metaphor, nuclear weapons, it works in every direction, it is important that Decker try to blow it up, the shuttlecraft is not the important thing?, Star Trek is coming The Tempest, from Forbidden Planet, added a secondary hull and some tubes, things that look like a transporter, operates the same way visually, imagine The Tempest is a science fiction, the no Kill I episode, The Devil In The Dark, don’t kill all the Indians, very good, Spock has another girlfriend this season, some other girl, the cartoon, is it science fiction, some of it is definitely, pick an episode, everybody’s favourite, The City On The Edge Of Forever, The Time Machine by H.G. Wells, what time travel can do, the good of the many outweighs the good of the few, let that lady die, hugs Bones, it’s philosophical, how time machines work, he gives an analogy, how do warp drives, bend the paper, snake oil to get to the story, if evolution is real and things go on as they are, the workers and the effete elites, that’s him making an argument, farther into the future, nothing really matters, a crab on the beach, back to earth, love is real, our time on earth together, two different things that are going on in there, three places in time, he leaves again, is he going to go see Weena again?, she ain’t that smart, not about time travel to the past, god show out of this, Lord Of Light, The Einstein Intersection, Aye, and Gomorrah…, heard about Thorns from Jonathan Weichsel, Chester Anderson, The Butterfly Kid, exists on Amazon, hippies had a new kick from outerspace, Reality Pills, pot smoking poets and musicians, lobster shaped giants from outer space, Peter S. Beagle wrote the foreword, poet, author, and musician, underground journals, new wave movement, Ray Bradbury, his good stories are good, the pirate site, Ten Years To Doomsday, reprint in 1977, an alien invasion novel, republishment, co-authored, misclassified him, probably not a book we need, a ton of fun, standing out as not having read, A Night In The Lonesome October, super-interesting, a request, he is pretty consistent, it’s pretty short, going to wikipedia or whatever, websites memorized, 31 minutes, something to pair it with, comparing the style as well as the subject, the Brian Murphy list, Eric Brighteyes, the main character, novella length, similar length to the Howard, The Barrow Troll, a comic, The City Of The Singing Flame, capital AND, Linortis Reprise, The Ship Of Ishtar, a show from 2010, podcast 091 – Oath Of Fealty, not a good book, the number one problem, 40 or 50 people, hear the idea, at least it wasn’t a huge book, Lucifer’s Hammer, Footfall, The Great Brain, ya, middle grade books, he was really smart, your Encyclopedia Brown, exist outside of Utah?, the first house to get a toilet, charge tickets, he’s gonna invite everybody over to take a shit, making fun of his own book, Salt Lake City, a Mormon thing?, how widespread is The Great Brain, famous illustrator, The Return Of The Great Brain, real books for real children, not Edgar Allan Poe, probably worth finding a copy and looking at it, at the time it was pretty exciting, who stole my wagon?, this person has motive, the two first episodes of Bookish, the setup is pretty good, asks for backstory, we don’t know each other well enough yet, viewpoint character, spinup theories, don’t trick me bro, tried to solve the mystery, setting it up, Nero Wolfe and Sherlock Holmes, who did the murder, a little to character heavy, the UK is going strange, a rebranded itv?, bathroom, save it in a jar, getting better, how am I supposed to take this book seriously?

Posted by Jesse Willis

The SFFaudio Podcast #869 – AUDIOBOOK/READALONG: The Assassination Bureau, Ltd. by Jack London and Robert Fish

The SFFaudio Podcast #869 – The Assassination Bureau, Ltd. by Jack London and Robert Fish (4 hours 32 minutes) read by Tatiana Chuchilla for LibriVox, followed by a discussion of it. Participants in the discussion include Jesse and Maissa Bessada.

Talked about on today’s show:
1910, 1963, Jack London and Robert Fish, a physical copy at a used bookstore, surprisingly PUBLIC DOMAIN, years went by, a movie, how fortunitous, read by a human, Titania somebody, favourite LibriVox narrator, Ltd., the end papers on the PDF, the movie a fair amount, as it went along, very much didactic, a lot of exposition, as it kept going, softened towards it, a different perspective, the movie was so fun, a different mindset, appreciated it much more, the movie’s better, lightens it, they play so much more, the book is not designed to be funny, a little bit arch, helps tell the story, deleted one of the characters and replaced that character as the love interest, son-in-law-be, Diana Rigg, we fall in love with Dragomilov, different ending, 237 page PDF, page 231, Jack London’s notes, Charmain London, London died in 1916, when is it set?, automobiles in it, the movie does a better job with picking a period, is this a science fiction book?, something close to it, because of the concept itself, fiction fiction, airship in the movie, not practically apparently, they’re always coming back, pick a scab, the flying cars exist (almost all in China), just prior to WWI, all the little vignettes are of a silent movie type, Yul Brenner, the other bald guy with the mustache, who loves ya, baby?, Oliver Read, Kojack, Telly Savalas, the newspaper owner, vice-chair, all bald guys look the same, he’s not Captain Picard, your head is so shiny, distracted by the mustache, create WWI, killing all the heads of Europe, as that didn’t happen, alternate history, or a secret history, makes it like a cartoon, the book is much closer to Around The World In Eighty Days than anything else, Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes is close to science fiction, it’s not H.G. Wells but it is very close, the extraordinary character of Holmes, Watson is us, a minute late, the appeal of Back To The Future (1985), we like spending time with Doc and Marty, the plot is helpful, spill the beans, the relationship between Doc brown and Mary McFly, an avuncular relationship, Marty is the nephew and Doc is the uncle, explaining who Marty is, trying to get his mom and dad to hook up, Doc Brown is science fiction, Marty McFly is the reader of science fiction, Marty McFly likes to play guitar, to get yelled at, it isn’t about formal schooling, extracurricular activities, after midnight in the mall parking lot, in the movie of this book, we are Diana Rigg, giving a lecture so that she can get a job, now we’re with her, Oliver Reed, this is a romance, what have I done?, the book is pretty weak, by the end it picked up a little bit, it sewed up its ideas, why is it a novel?, why Jack London didn’t finish it, closed it up, new book by Michael Crichton and James Patterson, Eruption, Michael Crichton is dead, he shouldn’t have don the second one, his legacy has turned into, the estate wants some more cash, James Patterson he’s well known, mostly series, airport books, Along Came A Spider, a spy guy, Alex Cross, Maximum Ride, many standalone thrillers and novels, why would you read these, really mainstream, Tom Clancy, long dead, finishing somebody else’ book, 4-0 years later, 1910 – 1963, the key thing, Jack London was a writing machine, Sinclair Lewis, joke writers, buy them from other comedians, we’ve seen this story done better, Goliah, a secret organization to try to change the world, so many years ago, 1910, it posits a kind of privatized CIA with morals and ethics, explained in the film, overexplained in the book, short for a novel, not tight, Goliah is 13 pages, only 20,000 words were written by Jack London, 5000 words is like a half hour, pull all the threads together, abandoning it, malformed it, too many characters, a similar scene in The Sea Wolf, a long dystopian novel, 800 shows you might have been on, The Dream Of Debs, Paul and Will, a candidate for president jailed by [Woodrow] Wilson, The Scarlet Plague, a tribe led by a guy named chauffeur, the preservation of books, a biography of Jack London, The Red One, Thee Star Rover, visits other times while in a straight jacket, The Iron Heel, bad relationships, people lecturing each other in each other’s homes, the film much improves it, instead of 80 days it is a year, all the deaths are comedic, no blood, eat poison very slowly, is there vanilla in here?, escapes, I see a comedy here, some really cool stuff in this book, the movie helped Maissa like the book, very interesting, what separates us from the animals, he accepts the assignment to kill himself, better in the book than in the movie, the rationale fits, montage, explosions, framesetting, overlay, all fun, very old fashioned film, it feels like one, very definitive, its before this, its not after that, set in the future or not, one line, one of the people who was assassinated was Bertrand Russell, lived until 1970, he really is in this book in the philosophy, be politik in the world, what are we to do about about anarchism, why he couldn’t finish it, a hard topic, by making it a farce, walk out of the movie theater, go get some coffee, two years later, one of the lines, salvation must come, the filmmakers, thinking about it, why the bureau cannot work, we can’t impose this, from the world, not bound by religious morality, his own code of ethics, Robert Fish is involved, some of the material in here is clearly London, relfect on what’s going on in Goliah, getting rid of the oligarchs, bend to my will and do better or suffer the consequence, all this poverty, a socialist and a millionaire, my wit, my strength, posit this assassination bureau, a fun comedy, they didn’t get what I was trying to say, not enough lectures and looking at bookshelves, less dynamic that it should be, a feeling of The Call Of The Wild, fleeting little scenes, humans vs. animals, everyman is worthy of death, we need to scrutinize you more, an inversion of Jesus’ every person should be saved, the birds and the beasts and the slime molds, the killing of animals for meat, moral judgement, the best thing we can do is follow our ethical code, a book about killing people and being ethical, the reason he must die is he accepted the contract, the son, can take over the assassination bureau, make the world a better place, was an anarchist, billionaire socialist, continue without assassination, dissatisfactory, The Sea Wolf, the paradise of slaughtering seals on the beach, the old sailor (the Jack London stand-in), [Wolf Larsen], an Eden, there is that, a Hawaii guy, this book doesn’t feel like a Robert Fish book because it feels very Jack Londony, preserve as much of the material, don’t delete things, a miscarriage, not a miscarriage, we can sell this baby, cyborg parts, Londonisms, an Irish Terrier, what terriers are for, for vermin, after rats, ratters, go into holes, big rats in Ireland, all the snakes are gone, a very cool book by Jack London, fully Jack London, set in the South Pacific, Jerry Of The Islands, as opposed to being in the arctic, a little dog for being on boats, a dog lover, really strong with ideas, ratting the thing to death, shaking it out and seeing what’s there, all of his short stories are better, good ideas, mad at another guy in a room, some sort of thing that happened to him, who is Jack London arguing with?, his bio-dad, disappears before he is born, arguing with himself, he’s also the young guy, I’m better than you think I am, dad, the fun of the idea, the movie is better, better executed for the idea, looking at the bookshelves, the opening of the book, bang, they’re all bad, Buck is the viewpoint character, over the shoulder right beside him, the man in the red sweater, Harrison Ford was one of the last owners, took 20% of the book and expanded it left and expanded it right, what makes a story good is what materials you were working with, the purity of the materials, good ideas in this book, memorialized war heroes, early chapters, the law of tooth and fang, violence, glorified, the basic law, reason and ethics and morality, instead of following gravity, trying to do good in the world, a crazy idea, if I kill this one person, it’s too hard a question, where do you stop, where do you draw lines like that, the short story instead, the premise sticks, doing it not to punish people but to make the world better, who are the people who are doing this?, rich business men, punish their rivals, kings, people in power, no women assassinated, missing from the book, ripe, make light of, the Ruthenians, central European, slavs, between Russia and Germany, the Assassination of an Arch-Duke, happened in 1914, this is a real phenomena in the world, bomb throwing anarchists, start writing, rich fat cats who’ve lost the moral code, murder for profit, in the book everybody’s ethical, published in 1963, sell it to film, spicier for that purpose, Sinclair Lewis deserves some credit, Guy Boothby’s The Woman Of Death, it has not crashed, it will cut us off, continue, prolific novelist, sensational fiction, the Doctor Nichola series, a Victorian forerunner, gothic egypt, supernatural revenge, Rudyard Kipling, George Orwell, bottled humuculous, a secret society, the suicide club, a dueling society, they all wear masks, a veil over their face, for rich dilettante guys with no jobs, direct plays in the park, got no writing or acting skills, a secret dueling society, Donald Westlake, Lord Of Light, The Hour Of The Dragon, Killing Time, private detective, a PDF, heresy to say it, corruption, better than Hammett’s Red Harvest, Otto Penzler, Tim Smith, his little black book, should be good, Scott loves Westlake too, not super famous like he should be, Lawrence Block is scarier, his comedic stuff, sparkly, The Spy In The Elevator, sparky and cute, big darkness, tells a funny story, great with the gestures, Dogs in the South Pacific books, fun chat, good movies, 4 in person rehearsals, doubled up, storylines are similar anyway, why he does that, why is Back To The Future (1985) such a good movie, too popular, talking about Star Wars is easy, talking about Sorcerer (1977), Stephen Spielberg, science fiction, fun characters, music, a tight story, his sister has so many boyfriends, Burger King, the truck he wanted, polishing the car, go to the lake, spark as a the kiss happens, it makes you want the sequel, more of the same, he drinks a lot, abusive to his ex-wife, the warning signs, recapitulate the final scene of the first movie, what about Jennifer?, turn out to be assholes, where we’re going we don’t need roads, a spray in the eye, they wrote her out of the movie, they want to do the same movie, Marty at home, children are all played by Michael Keaton [J. Fox], don’t say a word, another invention, another scientific invention, some of the Weinbaum shows, The Worlds Of If, avuncular relationship, likes girls, old professor friend, Doc whatever, this new machine, each incident is a different machine, The Ideal, dating another girl, Professor Von Manderpootz, Star Trek, a different planet, a different scientific idea, a different alien relationship, planet of the gangster, time travel episode, some of them are really bad, back in time to the 1960s, a lady who can turn into a cat, tiny insects, terrible terrible, protagonists are insects, the Horta, the Teri Garr one, Bewitched style, Ferengi’s go to Earth, they’re cartoon humans, capitalism made cute, somehow figure out this is a bad date, speed dating, 15 people in 15 minutes, awkward five minutes, do you like to read books, I’m a vegan, here are six nice things about me, I don’t brag much, we have to do that with authors, Terry Pratchett, other people should marry him, Douglas Adams, a double date, it is literally spending time with somebody, the movie was good, we got something out of it, Frankenstein, she was the girlfriend in Tootsie (1982), Close Encounters Of The Third Kind (1977), Goldie Hawn, both blondes and bald people, Mr. Mom, The Conversation, Oh, God, The Black Stallion, Assignment: Earth, not a lot of dogs in Deep Space 9, in a virtual game, interesting idea, Jake and that woman who’s a psychic vampire, a B plot, an A idea, Captain Sisko has found a space anomaly, the way TNG, back on deck 2, hits higher highs more generally, talk about Star Trek again show, the French movie, Mars Express (2023), very science fictiony, too much available, mostly crap, easy, do the work, so fulfilling to do it, Reading, Short And Deep, Ball Of Fire (1941), Gary Cooper and Barbara Stanwyck, one of eight professors working on an encyclopedia, newsboy, gun moll, fuddy duddy professor, changing their loves, its really fun, Double Indemnity (1944), the guy who dies in the end of a Charlton Heston, Soylent Green (1973), Edward G. Robinson, lonely widower, I really like you and respect you, murder her husband, its love, framed by a dictaphone recording, the whole story in the middle, her curves, she’s just a woman, her presence on screen, she commands the camera to look at her, she was huge, way bigger than Helen Mirren ever was, a lot of westerns, her later career, becoming a movie star, Barbara Stanwyck is this movie, Wild Robot (2024), The Iron Giant (1999).

The Assassination Bureau

Posted by Jesse Willis

The SFFaudio Podcast #868 – READALONG: Hombre by Elmore Leonard

The SFFaudio Podcast #868 – Jesse and Scott Danielson talk about Hombre by Elmore Leonard

Talked about on today’s show:
why did we pick this particular one?, wanting to read, audio stack, he’s a good writer, Justified, his influence on it, the dialogue is amazing on that show, terrific, the Paul Newman movie, the audio drama, a very good story, the better story version of it, the movie, keeps almost everything that’s in the book, no voice over narration, the viewpoint character, just a camera telling the story, the editors, the moviemakers, who the character is, a kid, a lot of his internal thoughts, what he’s interested in, his lame thoughts about things, we get to see the story more purely, on the stagecoach, differences, the innkeeper lady, a little out of sequence, the end of the movie, our guy dead, our man dead, cut, he was the one we were following, top 5 Star Trek original series, a trick, some good episodes not easily nameable, which one was that, the Gorn episode, Arena, most episodes are excellent, dogs or semi-interesting, Amok time, alphabetical order, Galileo, categorizing things alphabetically, Balance Of Terror, Shore Leave, the surprise, Theodore Sturgeon, fun and funny, fantasy humour episode, which of them is Hombre?, you’re correct, who is the Hombre in the Galileo 7, a movie called Stagecoach (1939), the movie, tribute to John Wayne, black and white cowboy, a zoomup, holding his saddle, winchester, lever action rifle, to attract the attention of the stagecoach, two important parts, Terminator 2, a cowboy spinning guns thing, big iron, the plot of that movie, a little bit similar, 9 strange people, Arizona?, Apache territory, stop to pick up the hero, pre-war, post-war western, like Hombre, a revisionist western, the old fashioned western, horses, Hopalong Cassidy, post-classical, subverts the myth, less simplistic view, the main character dies at the end, not typical, western comics, Louis L’Amour, Lonesome Dove, what is this book about, John Russell, racism, hypocrisy, Mexican characters, culturally, his haircut, it is revealed to us, let me tell you about John Russell, he had many names, ideas going on in this book, he is like an Indian if he’s not an Indian, he has a conversation, when you talk about those people, you won’t eat a dog, this isn’t about his identity, scolding people, being frustrated, why does John Russell do what he does?, very tricky, good book?, very good book, a book for men or for women, female characters, prominent, picturing the movie, the movie has overpowered the book, the wife, long history of life in the west, a strong character, the best character that’s female in the movie isn’t in the book, she’s kind of the love interest for the audience, we love her, to take your date to, the other people on the stagecoach, we like the Mexican boss, we don’t hate the kid all the time, we don’t like Doctor Faver, the girl with the Apaches, liking her in the end, why is Mr. Spock the Apache, he’s the outsider, in the Galileo 7 which character is the Mexican stagecoach driver?, it’s Leonard McCoy, he’s also kind of the women, you cold blooded inhuman, it ends differently, a television show, just redshirts, Mr Scott’s there too, providing the plot happening, we have no fuel, what about the phasers, there’s always possibilities, deep story here, an Ernest Haycox short story, the outsider there is the Ringo Kid, pretty rare, Ringo Star, a long list of Ringos, don’t know or care, wears a lot of rings?, an outlaw, he’s not an Indian, it’s not a racism story, it’s a weirder old fashioned western, not to modern tastes, where the story came from a Desilu connection, Lucille Ball, Five Came Back (1939), South America, people pointing to that, semi-legit, Flight Of The Phoenix (1965), Guy De Maupassant, Boule De Suif, Ball Of Fat, a gender flipped version of Hombre, the Prussian takeover of France around 1870, 1880, this short novel, what being a man means, almost heavyhanded in the book, a flashback, Tres Hombres, fights like three men, what’s going on in people’s heads, a stratified society, it’s about class, last stagecoach out of town, it’s snowing, cold rather than heat, complete inversion, as they go over the road, characters and personalities, a prostitute, everybody has reasons for hating her, a high end guy, that guy’s wife, two nuns, a contrast of females, society person, two ugly women, she’s fat, she’s got big boobs, very kissable, the author’s preference, very hungry, a basketful of food, munching, mouth is watering, she shares it out, only one cup, become very chummy, getting along, the we are all getting along, what you talkin bout we?, inside job, stole the ticket from the soldier, really good actor in the movie, The Rifleman, as a kid, Have Gun, Will Travel, Richard Boone, such a bastard, we hate him a lot, more compressed, no inside man in this holdup, stuck in the mud, a Prussian officer, what you’ve learned, everybody hates the Prussians, honest hatred for the Prussians, why they’re leaving, the rich people want to save their money, it comes to pass, won’t let the stagecoach goes, deliver her services, because he’s a Prussian, they all turn on her, why it would make Maupassant into a famous guy, a woman’s virtue, she’s the most virtuous one amongst them, she didn’t have to leave, she genuinely doesn’t like the Prussians, property seized, my property is my business, the most steadfast, get the money and run, she is forced to give up her principles, forced by the group to have sex with the Prussian, the structure of Hombre, two indians go into a bar to have a drink, holdup men, jostles his arm, our hero shows up, hits him in the face with the butt end of his rifle, contempt is not appreciated, doesn’t recognize him as John Russell, recognizes his voice, a parallelism, eating the dogs, they’re dirty, they pick at themselves, her husband is literally starving the Indians, took a great story and turned it, a western, not set in 1899, a transition period, the stage line, the right period, it’s in the west, Arizona, occupation and privation, she implies, the women cut her hair, I’m not going to tell you what it was like when the men had me alone, what was it like?, raping her all day long, contemptuous of her former society, captives by natives, sometimes people prefer it, Dances With Wolves (1990), learns to dance with wolves, we’re pushed in either direction, what was it like, it must have been horrible, matter of fact, possibly they weren’t as horrible as all that, we are invited to speculate but we are not told, the way a Rashomon-style story works, an awe, that’s why the title is important, what do we mean by a man, he does what a man does, you people fucked this all up, probably gonna get me killed, a let’s go try and fix this story, even the Mexican stagecoach guy we like, the capable one, he saved the water, need this guy, their only hope, the pattern works the same, thinking of their station, not every piece works perfectly, until they get hungry, three wives, a bigger version of this story, the mudwagon is much smaller, ovens for their feet, the water is the resource that needs to be watched, a little bit of warmth, food and her virtue, when you read a gender flipped story, a Conanna The Barbarian movie, female barbarian, tougher than any man, males are disposable, that’s what a man does, men are more disposable, let’s go get in a car wrecked, let’s drive carefuller, send yourself out there, that’s what this story is about, that’s what makes him a man or three men, that’s why this story works, why it is such a good story, an aspect of it, the racism, the moral certainty of these people of his character, they ask him to get out of the stagecoach, the Mexican’s reaction, just ride on top, what does it matter, don’t rock the boat, our narrator kid, a former official of the company, I’m officially fired, see that man get kicked out, he doesn’t bully, he’s not a Richard Boone bully, so good, cold dead hand, the shit bullied out of him, just takes his ticket, you called me a bad name, we’re all in this together, we we we, individualism, libertarianism, the message, this is what a man is, this is what a man is like, don’t be like these other men, or is he doing it for the girl?, the right thing to do, what it is, why does he get out of the stagecoach, argued into it, no skin off his nose, just want to have coffee, the final scene in the mining area, to try to save the girl, her whole lifestyle is funded by her husband’s graft, Indian agents, not even a real doctor, a doctor of divinity, a man’s work, preventing a woman from dying, because somebody needs to do it, none of these other people are men, kill us anyway, coulda chucked the money down, they want the water too, why it is so disturbing, in 1967, a disturbing movie, the same story as Tom Godwin’s The Cold Equations, suddenly convert phaser juice into fuel for your aircraft, gender flip it, made the pilot a female, he was going to visit his sister on Woden, we don’t think it a horror, a man killing a girl, it needs to be done, 7 people are more valuable than 1, the same setup, let’s grind em up in a meatgrinder, almost always men, opposition to women being sent into combat, via a draft, distanced from it, in the recent bombing of Iran one of the pilots was a woman, women can do it, the audio drama, only an hour long, keeps the narrator, summarize, set scenes, tricks to making audio drama work, the simplest way (not the best way), the movie does the best version, the movie is clearly the best, the book is good in some of the details, the way of the story being told, Maupassant doesn’t do it that way, third person omniscient narrator, that setup, where the book excels is in the dialogue, Fire In The Hole, they bought the character, two novels, this weird thing with his writing, he starts off for an idea for a story, he’s not really a story guy, he’s a character guy, Karen Sisco, Karen Makes Out, Out Of Sight, let me see how this character walks and talks, Carla Gugino, Pronto, Riding The Rap, Peter Falk, a paid researcher, more co-author than researcher, Tishomingo Blues, local dixie-mafia, high stakes civil war reenactors, Bounty Hunters, The Moonshine War, Swag, The Switch, City Primeval, Gold Coat, Freaky Deaky, Bandits, Get Shorty, Out Of Sight, imdb Elmore Leonard, a Tarantino movie, Three Ten To Yuma, invasion of Cuba, Teddy Roosevelt, A Coyote’s In The House, Westlake and Block, hand gestures vs. dialogue, more westerns of his, male confronting male, a good western, Be Cool, John Travolta, a tv show too, a gangster who moves to Hollywood, I really like movies, a sequel, fairly inconsistent, Block is the most consistent, I thought Elmore Leonard was awesome, a tough guy learning about civil war era underwear, a “farb”, The Rosary Murders, a very scott book, Umberto Eco, The Name Of The Rose, a Scott book, Sean Connery, a mini-series, a nod to Jorge Luis Borges, John Turturro, 8 episodes, do that book one day, a couple of weeks of prep, a short story in between, Elmore Leonard’s The Rustlers, the audiobook version, there isn’t much to say about it, it’s just good, this is Guy De Maupassant retold, Stagecoach is also Maupassant americanized, instead of switching from race to class, Airport (1970) and Airplane (1979), a train or plane full of different kinds of people who react and depend on one person, the burnt out guy from WWII has to fly the plane again, become the man, nuns who speak Jive, characters on the train, characters in a situation, The Towering Inferno (1974) is stationary, The Poseidon Adventure (1972), Hombre hits hard, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, listening to stupid people, we gotta fix this shit, buckle down don’t complain do it, the same essential core, everyone has to rely on John Wayne, he’s a criminal, everybody likes him, a similar thing in Assault On Precinct 13 (1976), The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, High Noon (1952), Hombre the movie is more suitable for women as well, go to the used bookstore, a western section, very small, not a lot of women poring over that section, different kind of stories for us, how to be, why it is successful, a darn good story, talking about them today, the best version of the story, Paul Newman, movie star, Cool Hand Luke time, how simple the movie is, how cheap it is, couple of weeks in the desert, couple horses, no special effects, couple of squibs, fake blood, good result, he was old, he’s the guy on the salad dressing, Barbara Stanwyck, shaking people to their core, we need to have more special effects, where’s the action in this?, a punch, a jostle, hit with the butt end of a rifle, machine guns flying, literary kinda, Lord Of Light by Roger Zelazny, not read by him?, out of print for a long time, he’s a good narrator, devoted to him Victor Bevine, Matt Godfrey, maybe it didn’t exist, all of the Amber novels, A Night In Lonesome October, why people love that book so much, the first five Amber novels, started late for public domain purposes, fantasy, sword and sorcery almost, colonizing another planet, in awe of it, world religion, Hindu gods, a Philip K. Dick novel that’s kind of similar, influence on the United States, The Divine Invasion, Linda Ronstadt, The Cosmic Puppets, Virginia, similarly oblivious, intolerant, gonna be the love interest, town drunk, too much detail, demi-gods, instead of having a spiritual journey, man’s role on earth, the nature of evil, using a different set of background assumptions, their different, born in Maryland or Virginia (near DC), he went back to the town her remembered as a child, an overlay, what if things are not as they seem, how Zelazny puts books together, smoking in Amber, self-insert, with Maupassant, he’s everyone, the moral failings of people, bizarre rationalizations, incredibly pregnant, so pregnant, the moral questioning goes in every direction, he’s really good, his novels, Bel Ami, visit the family, leave the dog, there and back long day, a movie each way, listen to an audiobook, look at the road?, book club at work, Just Stab Me Now by Jill Bearup, a spoof or a satire of a romantasy, a little meta, not-uninteresting, a very new book, Burial Rites by Hannah Kent, last person executed in Iceland, still in development, none of these covers are good, just a bunch of fonts and floors, The Haar by David Sodergren, Three Body Problem, Project Hail Mary, Artemis, how couldn’t there be?, 21 hours, Theodore Bikel, Richard Poe is good, the problems with the audiobook are the main character narrator not the actual narrator, that’s coming up, metastuff, how long he’s been workin on the book, such a nothing character, she wouldn’t take my blanket last night, prudish vs. not prudish, slaps you in the face with somebody’s boob, so important to story, Edgar Allan Poe, a western and The Galileo Seven can be the same story, back burner.

BB - Hombre by Elmore Leonard

Hombre by Elmore Leonard

Posted by Jesse Willis

Reading, Short And Deep #488 – You Can’t Lose by Lawrence Block

Reading, Short And Deep

Reading, Short And Deep #488

Eric S. Rabkin and Jesse Willis discuss You Can’t Lose by Lawrence Block

Here’s a link to the story |PDF|.

You Can’t Lose was first published in Manhunt, February 1958.

Posted by Scott D. Danielson Become a Patron!

The SFFaudio Podcast #839 – READALONG: The Burglar Who Met Fredric Brown by Lawrence Block

The SFFaudio Podcast #839 – Jesse, Scott Danielson, and Maissa Bessada talk about The Burglar Who Met Fredric Brown by Lawrence Block

Talked about on today’s show:
2022, the last book in a series?, where do you go from here?, very meta, The Burglar Who Counted Spoons, the Mondrian, the Spinoza, read them all, high hopes for super preparation, Burglars Can’t Be Choosers, What Mad Universe?, recommend that one to everybody, no Carolyn Kaiser, becomes a regular, he didn’t know what the formula was, imagine my surprise, selling books, thw worst Lawrence Block book, goes down so smooth, worst book is still great, everything in between, how violent is it?, ptsd from reading, A Walk Among The Tombstones, that series, traumatic, ooh this is dark, Westlake has his normal books, the violent ones, Tucker Coe, Donald Westlake, so many series like that, he used to be in television, now he’s an amateur detective, under a whole other name, so many Westlake, Lawrence Block’s still alive, 2 years old, reading this style, ebay, feels out of place, 1977, Bernie Rhoddenbarr doesn’t age, this happened 12 times, Bern, he would have aged up, a spry burglar in the prime of life, drink all day, a cozy, a weird alternate universe, New York didn’t change that much, a reckoning, you can’t be a burglar in modern sociert, video of you, teetering on the edge of oh I hate this, set in the modern, the ideal version of my reality, google’s still there, but Amazon and ebay aren’t, a fantasy a lot of people want to have, he’s american, more like school shootings or lynchings, he chose the apple pie universe, listened to it, totally recommend it, clunkier, Lawrence Block is a smoother writer, the smoothest writer Jesse has ever read, comforting and cozy, he never puts a foot wrong, the meta aspect of it, swirling whirlpool, he convinced me, Chapter 12, asterix asterix asterix, the superdeluxe handlettered version of this book, he’s never that meta, genuine SF, genuine meta SF, a writer for a pulp magazine, transitions to another universe, a capcitor rocketed to the moon, zapped out of existence, wakes up in another world, a dark cold war, their past diverged 30 years prior, fit in without an identity, investigating a parallel world, what we see here, solipsitic with two characters that had it happen to them, one of many parallel worlds, the perfect world of a guy he didn’t like, all the science fiction he’s writing about is now real, the show coming out tonight, the audiobook and the podcast, very very meta, other bad news, Richard Ferrone died in 2022, it can’t go anywhere from here

novels:
Burglars Can’t Be Choosers (1977)
The Burglar in the Closet (1978)
The Burglar Who Liked to Quote Kipling (1979)
The Burglar Who Studied Spinoza (1980)
The Burglar Who Painted Like Mondrian (1983)
The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams (1994)
The Burglar Who Thought He Was Bogart (1995)
The Burglar In The Library (1997)
The Burglar In The Rye (1999)
The Burglar On The Prowl (2004)
The Burglar Who Counted the Spoons (2013)
The Burglar Who Met Fredric Brown (2022)

three short stories:
Like A Thief In The Night
The Burglar Dropped In On Elvis
The Burglar Who Smelled Smoke

a movie version of the second book, Whoopi Goldberg, Bobcat Goldthwait, gender flipped the characters, Hollywood doesn’t do the books exactly right, such a literary guy, Peter Peter is reading a book, the manx, Raffles, stealing from this dynamic, E.W. Honung, Arthur Conan Doyle’s brother in law, that’s cool, a burglar version of Sherlock Holmes, shacked up together, the Moriarty of crime, supercozy, similar to one of the short stories, an American boxer comes to town, burly bodyguards, the biggest diamond you’ve ever seen, the master burglar, amateur cricketer, can’t resist, an amateur amateur, help I’m trapped, there’s a scene referenced in here, Ray Kirschman, gather everybody together, that scene is elided, a ripoff of Rex Stout’s Nero Wolfe, professional consulting detective, ratiocination, an agent who wrote, his own version of it, a sex quest, Greenwich Village of the 1960s, fishtank instead of orchids, to be his Archie Goodwin, told from the pov of an Archie Goodwin standin, echoing out, if you were a fiction character, being on the typewriter with him, don’t let this all be a dream, the cop-out ending, Lewis Carrol, Little Orphan Annie, 99% literary allusion, when did the plot even start?, The Screaming Mimi, any other Fredric Brown, Arena, Knock, Ballantine, the Star Trek episode, his reputation, a two sentence story, how Knock goes, the last man on earth sat alone in a room, there was a knock at the door, The Case Of The Dancing Sandwiches, Joe Haldeman’s The Hemingway Hoax, alternate universe, came back with Beatles songs, Jefty Is Five, Harlan Ellison, radio shows that stopped existing, books that were never published, really good, read by Harlan Ellison, The Screaming Mimi, read by Stefan Rudnicki, series characters, fantastic stuff, who is this Westlake guy?, Jason Sanford, the Reacher book, that first Reacher book was pretty good, compartmentalized, Fredric Brown’s Hall Of Mirrors, a lock that needs to be opened up to reveal what it is, experimental and thoughtful, doing it seemingly for himself, that meta aspect, an invitation rather than a story, it was a monkey, it was a woman, it was an alien, what made him the last man on earth, couldn’t be much different than this and still be good, can’t really complain, the Burglar series, Sins Of The Father, the Matthew Scudder series, ex-cop, he does his research, his life is a writer, he’s observant, has traveled, a lot of research, found out today, Transnistria, google it and it is real, alcoholic, in AA, a much darker version, fairly cozy, [A Walk Among The Tombstones] Eight Million Ways To Die, they loved the book, would make a great movie, then doesn’t, Reacher is better as a show than a movie, Tom Cruise Reacher movie was fine, more character based, the format, 2nd season in Toronto, a 3rd season, talking with Terence about it, Conan but with a pension, Conan’s not a patriot, other books to read, sitting in a cafe somewhere maybe, the main complaint, the body type, what is Bernie’s size?, taller than Caroline, 99% of this book is dialogue, I opened the cupboard and pulled out some cookies, chili, added some cheddar, whenever that’s happening, throwing down a red herring, that character is thinking, the dialogue is just great, why Carolyn was needed, gets a girlfriend right away, a person to dialogue with, she was the murderer, she goes to prison, lesbian poodle washer, to bounce your dialogue off of, Doctor Watson making notes about what Sherlock Holmes is doing, his writing skill is a combination of limited life experience, deep interest in research, and reading a ton of old stuff he really likes and wants to tell you about, his whole life Lawrence Block’s been a writer, he considered burglary, what’s going on that part of the book, when did the plot start?, in the first book, instead of having money they had credits, instead of a metro card, a subway card, happens in the dark, subconscious time, in the dark, an amazing sequence in What Mad Universe, grab a bunkbed, there’s a blackout right now, aliens are destroying parts of earth, a WWII allegory, a fog of blackness, push through, after getting off of the public transit, somethings walking the streets with canes, a monster coming, meets up with a burglar, drive by dead reckoning, 60 feet that way, then take a right, a super creativity there, a meta-science fiction book set in a science fiction universe, this book is not science fiction at all, influenced, Voltaire underneath all of it, Candide, ties back, back to Spinoza, a rich stew, a chili with cheddar put on top, what you will remember is the coziness, Peter Peter and the four bodyguards, barely remember them, what about the money, stealing from your friend on a ship, doom him again, a cruise ship, assisted living, if he was 30 in 1937, how old is he in 2022, died in a book 20 years earlier, I read all of Lawrence Block’s burglar books just to get all the callbacks, very fun and light, no gore, there’s a dead man in here, Bernie, he’s wearing your tie, Agatha Christie style, a snowstorm, cops can’t come, has to solve the murder, how he writes these books, why don’t we go upstate, takes his typewriter, a comedic element, even death isn’t dark, the apple pie universe, a scoop of ice cream, nobody gets fat, ice cream headache, raising your hand and swirling it, the names, the Cubby Hole, the Bum Rap, just great, this can’t work anymore, New York is unlivable, there’s no customers, what happened to Jesse, went out of business, everything works out in the end, it’s not an uber, your taxi is always there waiting for you, a kind of assisted living, food is good, the Bowlmore being taken down, a commentary on how New York has changed, the bowling alley coming back, because it’s a place where you wear other people’s shoes, multiverse, a strike, a gutterball, a nice metaphor, a thing to bring back, the same setup every time, the thinking, to reframe, the plot’s here!, in the context of What Mad Universe?, swapped for the main character in the other universe, there’s two of them, change places, an interloper, the other Bernie stole something and disappeared, the place broken, the domestic native Bernie breaking into his own shop, there’s a red herring, alternate universe Carolyn, hey there’s a lesbian in my bed and its me, slipped into each other’s minds?, the pocket universe created, dissolved out of existence, he didn’t really write Science Fiction ever, [Make A Prison], Richard Lovelace, he’s not a science fiction writer, other Fredric Brown, doesn’t feel like a science fiction, alternate universes, how does he get there, very Alice In Wonderland, we made it up, oh it happened and we made it up, something Eric [Rabkin], Alice’s Adventures Under The Ground, Alice is bored, the end of the reality, she sees a rabbit, everything after that is fantasy, do that book sometime, should be available, done with metaverses for a while, the Hollywood stamp of a approval, Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022), Deadpool 3 (2024), nothing matters, women are always giving phone numbers, The Burglar Who Counted Spoons, fine, nothing matters, enjoying this book despondently, kill me now, all just here playing our part, even more meta than What Mad Universe, based on a milieu, the cover of the magazine is described, reading this in Startling Stories, #BrassBra bikini, a green space girl costume, this is our uniform, everything about that, Mad Magazine, Colliers, recursion, going deep inside, a story about a writer for a magazine about a story about a writer of a magazine, referencing fans, Surprising Stories, not about science fiction, science fiction is old hat, rocketships in the future, needs to make money, plagiarize Isaac Asimov stories, it was better the second time, that’s the imagination that sparked Bernie into making this universe, the imagination that sparked Lawrence Block, a cat, Nora, a black cat, a Nick?, a dog!, a German Shepherd, therapy dog, dogs with jobs, a lab, even more approachable, naturally good at it, this one will go to school, not Nick, we need a reason to read The Thin Man, Bernie?, Carolyn?, Douglas, dogs named after tree, Douglas Furbanks, his half brother, previous litter, different colour patterns, some stuff on his head, colouration, exhausted this book pretty quick, so entertaining, tell me tomorrow, Bern, star star star, Chapter 37: I explained., we skipped a whole scene, flow so well, not homework, Raffles asking to be fed, dog burglar, keep working on it, two on the schedule, another Simak, Lilith by George MacDonald, 1895, 1969, among the the darkest, the most profound, the cosmic sleep that heals tortured souls, a Christian universalist, salvation is hard won, Mr. Vane owns a library, much like a Raven, the wraith, 351 pages, sounds a little dark for Maissa, children’s books?, Ballantine Adult Fantasy Series, The Wood Beyond The World, might be fun, The King Of Elfland’s Daughter, too close to your xmas, Project Pope by Clifford D. Simak, A Choice Of Gods, Mistress Of Mellyn by Victoria Holt, highly regarded, The Tower Treasure by Frank W. Dixon, Hardy Boys, The Mystery Of The 99 Steps, cozy and hilarious, pretty sure Nancy Drew is a lesbian, skinny dipping, blue convertible, doesn’t have a job, always nice, suspicious but too polite to say, a new suspect, pretty sure this one’s a robot, she’s not eating, a lot to read into it, locking people in rooms, that’s gonna solve the problem, her main device is a flashlight, soft and cozy mysteries, big in Scott’s childhood, The Three Investigators, The Green Ghost, Hitchcock licensing, Tom Swift, Robert E. Howard, spoiled the ending of Odd John, Olaf Stapledon, 2025, crazy, thinking about 2020 in 2001, thinking about 2000, Blade Runner soon, the future is not like I thought, dig back in old books and magazines, Ray Bradbury story, some guy named Oxford, Don Congdon and Associates, copyright strikes, The Exiles, Usher II, read by Leonard Nimoy, a couple of Robert A. Heinleins, The Green Hills Of Earth, the old days, he was on that, 2000X, Yuri Rasovsky, Dirk Maggs, Judge Dredd, Batman, audio drama, normal audio drama, a signature style, Independence Day, Dredd (2012), hyperbolic, 2000 A.D., of all the stories to do, make sense for a British comic in the 70s, a super-evil dystopia, six months in isocube, caffeine is illegal, everything is evil, the guy you care about is the bad guy, a parody of the United States, Mega City One, space judges, death judges, a complete alternate universe of Marvel, super-team this, league of evil mutants everywhere, not allowed to have wives or girlfriends or sex, a whole other universe to explore, a parody of the United States, adaptations, British actors putting on American accents, entertainment from another universe, anime, William who lives in Japan, Dragon Ball Z, waved a wand, computer games for education, they don’t learn anything in school, Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, a mission to meet this ancient philosopher, world rich, you learn the things that you’re interested in, time is up!, see you, hear you, an hour early, editing later, Strange Darling (2023), it’s musical, some violence in it, the actor, based on two movies, so out of the loop, movie trailers, movies can be good, few and far between of late, artsy and innovative, 97 minutes, not a rape scene exactly, a choking scene, everything will be okay, prefacing, the opening credits, the movie is deceptive, Kyle Gallner, the lady, very good actors, not super super handsome, good at picking scripts, credited with a name, the demon, the girl, a little conversation, are you a serial killer?, this based on a serial killer, all lies, shot entire entirely on 35mm, that part is probably true, very important, art movies, not boring art movies, a structure, a movie in six parts, chapter 3, chapter 5, you’re gonna love, watch it during the day, cat hair is coming off, The Wild Robot (2024), Pedro Pascal, delightful noting traumatizing, cenobite, not into slasher movies, tricky slippery fun, deceptive, Ed Begley, Jr., plays an old hippie, very beautiful, hyper realistic, red and green, colour palated, Giovanni Ribisi, Dinner In America (2020), an hour 46, set in the 80s for no reason, a punk rock musician, sex letters, a pet store, fishtank cleaner-outer, straight laced parents, it’s like she’s retarded, no diagnosis, this is a romance, you’re rooting for them both, 91%, The Substance (2024), somebody’s back is stitched up, too scary, Bettlejuice Bettlejuice (2024), daily streaming charts, this chart has no value, Conclave (2024), sequester, new pope, Twelve Angry Men (1957), 12 pious men, Isabella Rosellini, good 4 lines, a lot of lurking, moves, stares, Stanley Tucci, its scary, a guy choking somebody, it’s worth it, movies that are manipulative, Pulp Fiction (1994), a buncha country roads in a forest, shot in Oregon maybe, the Red Letter Media guys, accidentally made a Kyle Gallner special, a follow up, at it for a while, he’s not ugly, Jennifer’s Body (2009), Smile 2, Scream 6?, Red Eye (2005), Red State (2011), weird revenge movie, picking good movies, who are not beautiful, pick good stuff, fun to see an actor you like in a movie, Eric Roberts will be in any movie, needs the cue cards, quite good, afforded his budget, not a professional actor, he’s just the attraction to make the movie a little more saleable, you know what you’re talking about, Star Trek: Lower Decks, how much they love it, the actor who plays the male lead, Jack Quaid?, six Jason movies, a crossover with Star Trek Strange New Worlds, cartoon worlds, hated discovery and Star Trek Picard, east to swallow, these are meant to be on in the background, if you’re very young right now, tiktok and instagram, you have to be taught, kids used to get bored, never bored anymore, research and processing, you need to be bored enough to get into somethings, ants, flowers, sucked into watching puppy videos, a puppy licking a Starbucks cup, the cough, winter related, if you lived in Hawaii, warm places in the winter, dysentery in Egypt, fluish sick?, winter weather, closed up, sealed up, what can we do about it, complain, have you noticed, have you looked at your coins lately, don’t look at your coins, some weird king on your coins, threw me into a universe, who’s this guy wearing a crown, a little peek, both old ladies, queen cookie tin, old lady with short hair, different people, a little faceblind, go into her classroom, a portrait of the queen on the wall, less disturbing than seeing this guy, what the hell is going on, about 5% of the coins, loonies or toonies, a disturbin experience, Charles III, still living with your grandmother, Charles III toonie, a quarter, not liking it, devaluing the money, on ebay, $25 for a $2 coin, ebay’s listings are free now, business model, before Amazon, 1999, ebay used to own PayPal, billpoint, spend the money, Skype, ebay used to be huge, recessed into the background, everybody knows about Amazon, a Star Trek Murder Mystery Box, ABEBooks.com, bought by Amazon, started on Vancouver Island, a competitor, this is why we can’t have nice things, the politics of this book make Jesse sad, an apartment that’s paid for, crazy real-estate investment, unaffordable and impossible, like an elegy, have a living and a place to live, go out for drinks, patches of that past, oh and independent store where they sell stuff and a person works there, runaway to escape, we can’t go back, doesn’t do that much tweaking, taxis arrive on time, customers for his store, his perfect little world, old books, visiting a time, when sandwiches cost 5 cents, coffee was 5 cents, a magazine 15 cents, $18 for a magazine, full of ads and super-thin, you have a phone, what the real problem is, real estate is really the issue, massive decline for a long time, middle to late 50s, drop off a cliff, 1953 is the height, in decline since then, 130 men’s magazines, more like adventure fiction, WWII stories, Chatelaine, competing with each other, steeply fallen by the 1960s, a major distributor selling the real estate for distribution, selling that depot is what killed the distribution, a scramble, super-interesting, blame it on television, movie theaters, what killed the movie going experience, COVID, bad movies, movie fans are all getting old now, the young people don’t know what movies are, small town movie theaters, movie festivals, untrained audience, expensive to rent the movies, a lack of availability of housing, not just for people, nothing they did wrong, investment properties, people don’t even know that they own it, Blackrock, you don’t even know you’re participating, private equity, why is the war in Ukraine happening, Blackrock is the answer, the breadbasket for Europe, sell our grain product, buy up all the land, taking all these debts, if this is a conscious plan, spray glyphosate all over it, the terminator gene style wheat, we’re doing all these things without knowing we’re doing them, everybody’s life is in your phone, imagine cinemas, big leather reclining chairs, $5 movies, $5 concessions, slash to this extent, all the matinees, you need to have something to watch that you want to see, Red One, the Rock, Heretic, supposed to be not bad, hires then marries, thriller, a child’s movie, Venom The Last Dance, We Live In Time (2024), Andrew Garfield, Florence Pugh, out of the knowing things business, Gladiator 2, Wicked, Moana 2, keep your hand in there, The Importance Of Being Earnest, such good words, as in it sucked, not in as they slayed, sad story, Mufasa: The Lion King, Sonic The Hedgehog, Wolf Man (2025), Captain America, Love Hurts, on the Island last, new owner coming, a good movie playing, late summer, old movies, a good date movie, I’m not sure we should be watching this, a movie that’s original, does good work, this is what a movie can be like, 90s comedies, dynamics of the neighbourhood, a girl who’s pregnant driving around town, actor became a dude, Juno (2007), Elliot/Ellen Page, those sorts of people, when was Superbad (2007)?, enjoy your movies, by DM.

The Burglar Who Met Fredric Brow by Lawrence Block

Posted by Jesse Willis