The SFFaudio Podcast #872 – The Hour Of The Dragon by Robert E. Howard (8 hours 56 minutes) read by Mike Vendetti, followed by a discussion of it. Participants in the discussion include Jesse, Alex (Pulpcovers), Cora Buhlert, and Mike Vendetti

Talked about on today’s show:
Weird Tales, December 1935 – April 1936, the chronologies, which order to read them in, the writing order, a summary, the first chapter, I was a mercenary, a pirate, a thief, one of the last ones written, Conan’s greatest hits, with an overarching plot, the Del Rey versions, an offer from a British publisher, in comics, the way it is serialized by Marvel the first time, very serial, the text itself, the individual sections, King Conan (the comic), Savage Sword, Red Sonja comics, Robert E. Howard’s horror fiction (with Cthulhu on the cover), Lovecraftian homages, Cora’s first Robert E. Howard, Conan The Conqueror, original Lancer in good condition, very very evil American trash, this is educational, terrible trash, pretty good, pastiches by Robert Jordan, committed suicide, every paperback, every introduction, 19898/9, there are risks, writers die of suicides, the guy who wrote Conan the Barbarian, the FBI didn’t kill Howard but…, Ernest Hemingway, two things, Lord Of The Rings, the phrase: The Return Of The King, an object that needs to be gotten rid of, thrown into the sea, hold up fantasy writers, polar opposites, low fantasy/high fantasy, the structure of this, the morality is completely different, contempt for kings, a king who doesn’t want to be a king, bother with all the Aquilonia stuff, reading enough of the Savage Sword, heads to North America and has adventures with the Aztecs, a novel there, Galactic Journey, Aztec dragon boats, Juhn Buscema, Ernie Chan, Roy Thomas, Alfred Alcala, amazing, Ben-Hur and this book, the movie, a downfall and a quest for vengeance, crawling back up, how Robert E. Howard wrote this, a map of Hyboria, thee same old map, Sygia is Egypt, Shem is Palestine or Israel, Shemites with blue beards, probably read Lew Wallace, he did, correspondence, did Tolkien steal it from Howard, not liking it, Cimmeria is Ireland, an Irishman, Asgard and Vanheim, the scando countries, fake europe, Aquilonia, Charlemagne style France, Nemedia, Zingara is Spain, Argos, placenames, there’s no Mediterranean, Kush is on the map, a tour thorough the Hyborian lands, a galley slave for all of 5 minutes, you’re my slave now, slave revolt, nice try, history as Amra, sailed with Belit, saves the black slaves, Conan is a good king, he’s been poor a lot, treats people well, let them worship their stupid gods, they’re transporting arms and armour, associated lands, Kull was a galley slave, a grist mill, wheel pain, to make Conans, a Conan factory, no other purpose, water or wind, an awesome scene in the movie, one guy on twitter shits on it, it’s not true to the stories, let’s talk about the Kevin Sorbo in the room, look at it without listening to it, it is put together like a film, the tone is wrong, Kevin Sorbo as Hercules, goofy, problems taking Conan seriously, Clonan series, Thongor the Barbarian, the He-Men, masculine muscular, the butt of the joke, a condescending article, slush for Strange Horizons, a rebuttal, academic scholarship, academic work on Robert E. Howard, too much, a pulp fiction “journal”, don’t feed the trolls, lay it out a little more, a huge chonky book, a great book, in comparison to Lovecraft, a sense of identity that comes from his family, a country gentleman out of time, much more unstable, aggressive with his arguments, a piece of propaganda that’s excellently done, Jews are just like us, a story of the Christ, Christianity is awesome, well done, how do I incorporate the ideas of Christianity into my life, surrounded by Christian people, in order to not be overwhelmed by it, a statement about the world, just reject it, ignore it, rebut it, his greatest hits, sell a book, religion, Conan’s religion has no substance to it, wants to be left alone, Robert E. Howard’s perfect god, somebody to swear by, Mike is waiting, link above, will leave a mark on you, engaging, look I can be in the world to, is this the only Howard story, we’re the good cult, dark gods, witchcraft with old ladies, she’s great, evil cults, Mitra, ineffective, share?, cults!, the Ashurrities, Roman era Christians, we got Mike, the movie with Charlton Heston, his response to Ben Hur, the chariot races, the galley slave incident, he’s in opposition to Ben Hur, all kinds of opposition, learning to let go of vengeance, suspicion, suspicious, played by Harvey Fierstein, Jubba, gender swapped Xaltotun, fine with the gender swap, The Spy Who Loved Me by Ian Fleming, From Russia With Love, loved him from afar, respected him as king, king by his own hand, By This Axe I Rule, smashes the tablets, no more law, one of the best scenes, the best Kull scene, a response, helps explain why it is a bit weird along the edges, so many characters who are part of the bureaucracy and power structure, a lot of guys who keep track of, The Phoenix On The Sword and The Scarlet Citadel, a woman’s waist, an early trans-person, not as manly as Conan, this is what he looks like, in what way is this story working, C.L.A.I.M., descriptions of colour, arms being lopped off, the colour of black lotus, amazing lotus, when reading Isaac Asimov, everything was in my mind, no actual description of them, robot stories, a black man, the two novels, The Naked Sun, American robotics investigators, narrating up a Robert E. Howard Conan, how long is that, 26 hours and 18 minutes, 21 stories, The Black Stranger and some later stuff, The Tower Of The Elephant, his best little story, magazine compilation copyright, Wikisource will have it, everything that was there, Robert E. Howard doing Conan, just so imagely rich, every sentence is almost a poem in terms of description, approaching a city, so much text, so flowery, this gets you an incredibly detailed image in one or two lines, very very right on, a blonde female, son’s fiancé doesn’t like blondes, Margaret Brundage, her Conan is the scrawniest, he’s not a skeleton, Robert Valentino Conan, he looks powerful, masculine, completely limp, need some Yul Brenner energy, laying down, we get a legit monkey fight in this book!, the movie adaptation, he’s sort of a half-simian something, remakes of Planet Of The Apes, you could give him a really good Thak, give him a cape, a gorilla face, Mighty Joe Young but a little small, the monkey’s stronger than Conan, he doesn’t say my guy is the chosen one, the son of god, or a devout believer, a canny survivor that comes from good morality (by not being a civilized fuck), being a barbarian, all the people who were sold into slavery, in the comic book adaptation, almost a wedding party, the Marvel one, Dark Horse, too asiany and too dark, the Cimmerian one, Aquilonina girl tied to an altar, the book is not about Zenobia, make the comparison, brass bra, in the sky is all the other Conan loves, Belit, Red Sonja, Valeria, queen of them all, Groucho Marx, in the internal chronology, the Aquilonias think he’s dead, no son and no descendant, sexual interest vs. moral interest, that witch with the dog, kingdoms, lineage, he has no heir, the whole plot is essentially about a lack of authority because of a lack of attention to that future, a rightful heir, conspires with the Germans, the Prussian invasion of France, you need to have succession, he rejects empire, it has to be the end, king stories don’t really work, usurping some guy, just playing RISK, someone is trying to usurp him, our period now, The Goblin Emperor, half-goblin, weird half-breed, who murdered, finding himself in a position, a good person in a difficult situation, the bad side of the family, William the Conqueror (aka William the Bastard), as you do, he has legitimacy because he has royal blood, he’s super-anti-royal blood, King Kull is also a barbarian, effete, the slight against one of the Aquilonian court, a description, they inherited their stuff, Xaltotun is in his tent and smoking hash, he’s a wizard, undead vampire, she’s great, more of her, cultists, Conan crashes the resurrection, the high priest of Set, he walks back into the pyramid, Aquivasha, also undead, hookin up and rulin the pyramid, pyramid and mummy interlude, Xuthal Of The Dust, The Slithering Shadow, they never go outside into their garden, instead of watching tv, high on lotus juice, slug monster from Cthulhuville, his commentary on non-outdoor work, being cozy, my uber eats delivered to the door, all live indoors, Red Nails, the one with the laser beam, stegosaurus, top 2 Conan stories, problems as a narrator, do you remember the weather you forecast, it just goes away, in six months, a reexperience of the book, a sequence of things, fathers and upwards respect, towards the emperor, surrogate fathers, towards a legit Jesus, generous with water and food, wants to heal the sick, wants people to be honest and nice, do the people of Aquilonia deserve Conan?, the hero they need right now, get some drinks, the gold isn’t power, surrenders, to the Nemedians, the knights, Provenance, protect the city, they came too late to the battle, they roll over, reading this again as an adult, 1933/34, Conan riding across the devastated Aquilonia, destroyed plantations, the utter fury he feels, the rise of fascism in Europe, hated Mussolini, hated Hitler, Europe in flames, the Prussian invasion of France in 1870, WWI, scorched earth, a conquering, they took the city, but they left again, Alsace/Lorraine, the Border Kingdoms, a German speaking minority, ballistas not canons, war devastation, the responses of the people to power, getting things back together, feels quite complex but the messaging is fairly simple, the driving thrust of the book is a series of interesting tours, the Heart of Ahirman, the most McGuffin McGuffin that’s ever McGuffined, The Fire of Asshurbanipal, a terrific one, a lost city, they find a magical jewel, a different jewel, more dangerous somehow, a little bit like The Ring, Xaltotun doesn’t want it, his phylactery, he’s a lich, a soul box/jar, hide it, keep it safe, hot potato, silly, a review on YouTube, it shouldnt be named The Hour Of The Dragon, a flag of Nemedia, Conan the Reconquer, invisible friend on the internet, a pivotal time of crisis and opportunity, destruction power and rebirth, the mix of the european and asian dragons, monsters, water creatures, they’re lucky, dragonboat festival, rebirth/rains, the guardsman of the king are the Red Slayers (in Kull), the Black Dragons, there isn’t a central female character in it, he sleeps with one of them?, doesn’t have sex, the original Conan movie, about to be executed, set pieces, puts on his outfit, kills the guards, rescues the woman, on the cover of Conan The Conqueror (Ace double), in any other story she’d be the love interest, Count Trocero of Poitain, he does sleep with her, he stables with her, in a cave, like in a manger, another scene out of Ben-Hur, I am Zalata, child of the night guiding armed men, the raven, not at this point, the answer fantastic, mounted the rocks, circuitous path, an eagle, an uncanny thing, she’s like Circe, she commands multiple wild animals, she lead the way, the great wolf trotting at her side, a narrow precipice of stone, half-hut/half-cavern, dethroned, now’s our chance to fuck this witch up, settling scores, the children of the wild are kinder than the children of men, brooding in the silence of glens, vs. city streets, my children, your sword, those Nemedian dogs, the foolish villagers in the valley, my answers angered them, you’ll be king one day, she tries to eat him or suck his blood, throws her into the fire, wow, scary, old women in Robert E. Howard stories, young maidens or ancient goddesses, she’s millennial old from Ancient Acheron, she told me she was 19, played for comedy, a very Kevin Sorbo line, her minion, damage from his face, you promised me blah blah blah, the line from The Empire Strikes Back, I’ve altered the pact, he’s kind of alien, when Orestes comes back, so much worse than we knew, normal good human ancestors, the absolute, he’s from Python, where they squeeze you death, resurrect a dead empire, necromancy on a national scale, drag the world into the past, the actual present world, really nasty strain of conservatism, make Archeron Great Again, Make Acheron Again, people rise to power for different reasons, it’s kind of an accident, it happens offscreen, super-competent, merit matters, you should be able rise, your skills should enable you to rise, king by his own hand, The Hyborian Age, the Probable Outline Of Conan’s Career, son of the blacksmith, in America you can become president, 10,000 years ago, Greek democracy and Kings or Emperors, the other direction, that tour of Stygia, the big evil snake is on the street, a theocracy, the Egyptian system, King Kull story, Exile Of Atlantis, fell in love with a Lemurian pirate, burned at the stake, he throws his dagger at her, Atlantis: I hate it, forbidden love, laws are against it, wondering about existence, really existentialist, no progeny, an analogue for Robert E. Howard, racially mixed marriages, Lemurian pirates and Atlantean maidens, The Curse Of The Golden Skull, Bran Mak Morn stories, a Weird Tales filler story, better than Tolkien, the Battle Of The Five Armies, Bard shooting the arrow, great incidence in The Return OF The King, I am no man, it’s a girl!, a thief sneaking into a temple, million year old vampire lady, a scroll, Jewels of Gwahlur, that suspicion usually pays off, she gets a reward (him), the opening, plot’s not super awesome, little short stories, details, the weird goblin people, that’s so cool, the powerplays, becoming a pirate again, bite sized bits of story, loosely strung, From What Hell Have You Crawled, bring back chapter titles, The Haunter Of The Pits, all comes together, there I won, it’s just over suddenly, him wanting to get paid, more words, Almuric, never completed, more Otis Adelbert Kline, Dennis Archer, went to Weird Tales in 1935-1936, summer of 1936, the anniversary of his death, the grave, leave little gifts, alcohol, he drank beer, leaving spirits, a Robert E. Howard bar guide, off twitter now, switched over to Bluesky, post everything four times, look into Solomon Kane, Conan as a character, Solomon Kane stories, more our world, 1600s/1700s, maybe this guy is just insane, purposely religious, African witch doctor, not Christian but good, the staff of the biblical Solomon, immortal vampire woman, zombies, vampires, flying monsters, innkeeper, the shortest one, Rattle Of Bones, Red Shadows, Men shall die for this, he’s like The Punisher, found her on the side of the road, swore vengeance, Wings In The Night, will they sell, a little cachet, second tier, still before Kull, El Borak, and the boxing stories, books about war, Ambrose Bierce, An Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge, What I Saw Of Shiloh, All Quiet On The Western Front, Cora got PTSD from the movie, Through The Wheat by Thomas Boyd, 1st infantry division, the disillusionment of young men going to war, Jack London, the Japanese invasion of Korea, he liked being first hand, War by Jack London, pre-WWI war, that really amazing Jack London hit, Tales Of Soldiers And Civilians, too many people watching, dying but not dead yet, remember forever, vividly to this day, Belgium, much better balm, too young to appreciate it, WWI letters, WWII all the time, Dolce Et Decorum Est, WWI poetry, Soldier’s Home by Ernest Hemingway, everywhere he walks in the town, as if there is purpose here, a tiny little branch of hope, a younger sister, his only connection to not killing himself, the dedication, so powerful, captured the experience of so many soldiers all over the world, Erich Maria Remarque museum, cottage industry, Die Brücke (1959), The Razor’s Edge by Somerset Maugham, he doesn’t fit in with everybody anymore, goes off to Asia, told from the POV of his friends, George Time, stealing food from a dead German’s pack, a ring off a corpse, so many stories we just let go, the right questions to ask, Cora’s great uncle, born in 1897, WWI German sailor mutiny, locked up, home in Bremen, the Bremen Soviet Republic, run of to the US, died in the early 1980s, surname, want to ask but don’t, family secrets that no one talks about, Nazis, these people were bad, we don’t talk about them, German POWs, Fort Riley, a powerful statement, least of all an adventure, a generation of men, escaped the shells, destroyed by the war, the modern movie, completely ruins the story, a grunt’s eye view of the war, ruin the end, Paul gets killed on November 11, a quiet day, Wonder Woman (2007), Twelve O’Clock High (1949), written for Jimmy Stewart, had PTSD in spades, I can not go back there, Flight Of The Phoenix (1965) with Hardy Kruger, the bombing raid, I was on the other side, almost killed, it was a long time ago, Hal Clement, Gene Roddenberry, last time I was here I was bombing the place, terrible stories of the bombing nights, graphic descriptions of hiding in bunkers, an American airbase, practicing on the moors, low flying noisy miliary airplanes, born in 1938, taking potshots at him, these people, Stephen Crane, his graphic description, The Red Badge Of Courage, The Bride Comes To Yellow Sky, The Open Boat, Manacled, it’s vivid, an epic poem, Storm Of Steel by Ernst Jünger, chiming in, the most powerful war book, weird answer: For The Temple, the Roman sack of Jerusalem, the first Horatio Hornblower book, the entire collection, not public domain, short stories, C.S. Forester, E.M. Forster’s The Machine Stops, it does everything, everything was provided for people, the plot is almost non-existence, guy calls up his mom on Microsoft Teams, the machine stops, the plot is not the story, utopian literature, English 12, reading science fiction in school, Germans don’t use the word dystopia, Brave New World, Nineteen Eighty-Four, won’t survive reentry, the machine stopped, lost without the internet, our phone, my navigator, literally lost, try to by a map now, the B.C. Ferries are trying to make people reserve your ticket and space online, not the winged creatures, if it has to be online, no ebay store, amazon store, government services, reserve bus tickets on your phone, scan a qr code, clipboard, to use the bank machine, it is the machine stops, old/poor/homeless, really hard to get stuff, government service, access to the road, the Amish will win, we’re competing here, the Leigh Brackett book, really interesting, a better short story guy than a novelist, for a guy who only wrote one novel, some of the best short stories, also wrote a lot of poems, he’s so good at it, they just didn’t sell, here Merry sing a song at a pub, Gandalf talking about Mordor, he wrote a suicide note 3 days before he killed himself, more than once, a year after his suicide, so amazingly powerful and rich, that rich language he’s so good at, a Robert E. Howard movie that was funny, Dennis Dorgan, Sailor Steve, a Breckinridge Elkins is a cartoon, a dumb smart guy, Popeye style villains, A Gent From Bear Creek, they don’t advertize it, MFA creative writing woman, his suicide note as a poem, June 18th 1937, The Cross Plains Review, The Tempter by Robert E. Howard, dream away the ages, who are you, I am Rest, Alpha and Omega, lusted for the resting, set me free, this world of human cattle, long I sat, never free, huger grew the phantom’s figure, through the fogs of old Time came striding, gliding gliding, from the shadows into day, he put the trigger in the poem, why would you write your suicide note in rhyme?, because he’s a poet, a trigger warning, cause people to commit suicide, never talk about war, just let everybody learn it on their own, “died of suicide”, you have to coddle everybody, you don’t go outside, comfortably nesting, she’s a podcaster, she’s a streamer, Australian music in the 20th century, 3 viewers, that’s us now, a yard party, on this note, we all should, see you all next time, Mike is 84 years old and looking at the world a lot differently, a good morning/afternoon, lunch/dinner.

Posted by Jesse Willis