Review of Toy Trouble by Engle and Barnes

SFFaudio Review

TITLEToy Trouble
By Engle & Barnes; Performed by a full cast
2 CDs – ~2 hours – [AUDIO DRAMA]
Publisher: Brilliance Audio
Published: 1996
ISBN: 1423308387
Themes: / Horror / Fantasy / Possession / Toys / Young Adult

Some stories inspire great things. This story, being the second “Strange Matter” release I have listened to, has inspired me to write a computer program to generate any future reviews of the series. The reviewer just plugs in the story title, the main character, and the horror de jeur, and voila, out pops a review that starts like this: “Karen Sanders is a likeable little protagonist as the story opens. But even the first scene, in which she ‘loses’ one of her new toys in a tragic head-swapping surgery gone wrong, drags on past enjoyment…” and ends like this: “And so we come to a fiery, bloody conclusion that has left all sense and interesting character development so far behind, we can hardly remember what such noble pursuits feel like…” In between lie paragraphs of brilliant prose riddled with verbal howitzer shells like “pejorative” and “bamboozlement” to make you forget you’re reading something a computer typed.

It’s not that Toy Trouble is any worse than Plant People, it’s that the two are bad in the same ways. The general flow of action, the characters, and the gradual deterioration of the promising story into silly drivel are so frighteningly similar that the pair seem generated from the same generic outline.

I will say that the cast and audio effects people make a valiant attempt to bring Toy Trouble to life, but, like Karen Sanders’ doll, this story never had a chance. After the initial attempt to make our diminutive heroine seem something like an actual girl, the authors are happy to simply toss her around, smacking her against an evil spirit (a ghast, if you care) that possesses toys, her weirdo brother and her woefully underdeveloped friends in a series of increasingly improbable and illogical perils. No amount of voice acting or Foley wizardry can vivify that.

So save your time and money for something worthier of your attention. Like, say, a nice, short Computer-Generated Review®.

Posted by Kurt Dietz

LibriVox: Pellucidar by Edgar Rice Burroughs

SFFaudio Online Audio

LibriVoxThe Quasar Dragon blogmeister Wolfkahn is excited about the newest SF novel to be catalgoued at LibriVox:

“Yes!!! LibriVox has just finished a free audiobook version of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ adventure masterpiece Pellucidar, the first sequel to At the Earth’s Core.”

Meanwhile, that preceding novel in the series (At The Earth’s Core) is still listed as“in progress” and is set to be a multi-voiced production as opposed to this single narratored one. Check it out…

LibriVox Science Fiction Audiobook - Pellucidar by Edgar Rice BurroughsPellucidar
By Edgar Rice Burroughs; Read by Ralph Snelson
16 Zipped MP3s or Podcast – Approx. 6 Hours [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: LibriVox.org
Published: August 2008
Pellucidar is a fictional “Hollow Earth” milieu invented by Edgar Rice Burroughs for a series of action adventure stories. The stories initially involve the adventures of mining heir David Innes and his inventor friend Abner Perry after they use an “iron mole” to burrow 500 miles into the earth’s crust. This is the second book in the series.

Podcast feed:

http://librivox.org/bookfeeds/pellucidar-by-edgar-rice-burroughs.xml

[via Quasar Dragon]

Posted by Jesse Willis

Mary Robinette Kowal: Campbell Award Winning “Best New Author”

SFFaudio Online Audio

Tor.comTor.com’s blog has posted a short |MP3| interview with Mary Robinette Kowal the newest John W. Campbell Award winning “Best New Author”! She’s not just the “Best New Author” (and thus the holder of the “Campbell Tiara“), she’s also a puppeteer (not the Niven kind), an audiobook narrator, and an audiobook reviewer (for SFFaudio). Über-congrats to MRK!

Posted by Jesse Willis

Clarkesworld for August 2008 features Blue Ink

SFFaudio Online Audio

Clarkesworld #23, the August 2008 issue, has an audio short story on offer (told in 2nd person perspective!)…

Clarkesworld issue #23Blue Ink
By Yoon Ha Lee; Read by Cat Rambo
1 |MP3| – 16 Minutes [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: Clarkesworld Magazine
Published: August 2008

In what I hope will be a tradition, I expect/hope, that David Tackett of QD will gift us a review of this story in the comments below. Dave?

Posted by Jesse Willis

Aural Noir Review of Grifter’s Game by Lawrence Block

Aural Noir: Review

Grifter’s Game is book number 001 in the Hard Case Crime library.

Crime Fiction Audiobook - Grifter’s Game by Lawrence BlockSFFaudio EssentialHard Case CrimeGrifter’s Game
By Lawrence Block; Read by Alan Sklar
5 CDs – 5 Hours 17 Minutes [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: BBC Audiobooks America
Published: 2006
ISBN: 9781602834538
Themes: / Crime / Noir / Femme Fatale / Drugs / Murder / Atlantic City /

Con man Joe Marlin was used to scoring easy cash off of gullible women. But that was before he met Mona Brassard — and found himself holding a stolen stash of raw heroin. Now that Joe has fallen hard for Mona, he’s got to pull off the most dangerous con of his career: one that will leave him either a killer — or a corpse.

Before he settled into the comfortable (and profitable) serial novels, starring the characters you love to love, Lawrence Block was writing crime novels. With every turn of the page, you could almost hear the peeling the wallpaper off of even the swankiest of hotel room walls. These are the gritty, acidic, abrasive early novels of Lawrence Block. The characters in these fifty-thousand worders were hardened criminals. Unrepentant, unlovable, more disposable, but ultimately just as magnetic as those who would come later. Block’s first novel (under his own name) featured just one such criminal. Joe Marlin is smooth and hungry. He’s no ageless, cuddly Bernie Rhodenbarr, solving murders between burglaries. He can’t relate the moral greyness that comes from too many years as a cop, like Matt Scudder. And he doesn’t contemplate the American lifestyle whilst planning murder for hire, like Keller. He’s just one low-down and dirty sonofabitch, telling as compelling a crime tale as you’ll ever likely to hear. Marlin’s story was first published by Gold Medal in 1961 under the title Mona. In 1986, it was released as Sweet Slow Death. And most recently it was republished with a third title: Grifter’s Game, this time by Hard Case Crime. Block himself fancied The Girl on the Beach, as the novel’s title. But no matter what name the novel goes by, it’s a fast and dirty, and shoots a strong enough curve to throw even the most hardened of modern readers off their game. At 47 years old it’s still one of Block’s strongest novels.

Reader Alan Sklar grows into the voice of the narrator as Marlin’s plans turn darker. We like his Joe Marlin, he’s clever and slick, he lingers on the details and teases us. The only thing is that Sklar sees it all coming – he knows, he tells us he knows, but doesn’t telegraph, and so, when the killing blow ultimately comes, it doesn’t hit us until we’re too close, until we can really feel it, until we own it. Until we live it.

Posted by Jesse Willis

Orson Scott Card Selects #4 – Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury

SFFaudio Online Audio
Orson Scott Card Selects (presented by Audible.com)
Orson Scott Card’s August essay is up on Audible.com. His subject is Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked This Way Comes!

You can check it out on the site itself, or just have a listen |MP3|. In what may be a world exclusive, Card compares the writing styles of Ray Bradbury to Isaac Asimov. And, there’s mention of the new Stefan Rudnicki narrated edition of Something Wicked This Way Comes.

Posted by Jesse Willis